Chris vs. Donald - Get a Life [S01E13]

I saved the day!

I've let you all down, so now I'm gonna splatter myself all over the lawn.

Oh, I gotta hand it to you, Fred.

But then again, as your less successful cousin who's always hated your stinking guts, I just want to remind you that you're an adult free to do whatever you want to do, son.

Well, I think I'll move on.

He's having another one of his bizarre Donald flashbacks.

There's my happy campers!

I actually got to spray the little bastard with some mace, so that was nice.

Low.

I'm a rock.

I know drifters who are more fashion conscious.

They're not applauding you, they're applauding Donald.

That's all that matters!

Okay, if we're all done with that crap, I'll make this brief.

Yeah, yeah, a likely story.

I'll make you drive her home later.

You have so much to live for.

Thank you all very, very much.

Please join Kiefer Sutherland, Lou Diamond Phillips, Charlie Sheen, and me tomorrow night for the original Fox Night at the Movies presentation of Young Guns.

I'm about to cry like a six-month-old baby girl.

To say that I'm a huge success, well, that would be an understatement.

Hi, Mom and Dad.

No, it's my obvious lack of patience for little geek wussy boys who dress up like carpet salesmen and wear cologne that smells like cat urine.

He's alive, everyone!

Go trash his piece of crap car.