Chris vs. Donald - Get a Life [S01E13]

Wake up, Cinderella.

Now I'll paraphrase because most of you here have the attention span of a circus monkey.

Dear Mr. Peterson,

Tell me, Christina, when you're not busy delivering your little newspapers and acting like a moron and boring people with idiotic conversation, what do you do in your spare time?

I hate you.

Hi, Aunt Shirley.

It seems that Sir Donald is nothing more than a flaming late bill payer.

I'd rather go to a livestock auction and get kicked in the face by a giant donkey.

Dad, what do you say I run down to the basement and get our Uzi?

Be a weasel for once in your life.

All right, this is it.

Nothing bothers him.

I'll make you drive her home later.

Basically, what my urologist told me was to

Well, we'll see what you think when your old man has to shovel me off his patio.

It's nice to be supported by relatives that appreciate an honest effort.

It gives me great pleasure now to present this sterling silver trophy and a $50 savings bond to Donald.

And, um, right now I'm gonna do something for you that even your precious little Donald can't do.

I hate you.

Okay, fine, there you go.

Stand in the place where you live, now think about direction, wonder why you have it now.

Yeah, okay, peddle your stink oil somewhere else.

I hate it.

I heard that Donald's melon stand is doing so good, he's adding another nine feet to celebrate.

And you're not getting out of it, so you better unstrap that little paddle and start preparing to be miserable, the way we're doing.