Chris vs. Donald - Get a Life [S01E13]

Oh, come on, Dad.

I hate you.

Here's some potato salad and some tuna balls.

Boy, it was touch and go up here for a bit, but we got through it.

Sounds pretty exciting, doesn't it?

And a dashboard, too.

Mom, mom, you have to help me.

Okay, if we're all done with that crap, I'll make this brief.

Come on, why should I lift a finger to help him?

I'm going by myself.

Don't be a simp, honey.

Like a visit from the royal couple.

Shut up, you idiot.

Dear Mr. Peterson,

So think about direction, wonder why you have it now

Now please, I need absolute quiet for this.

As most of you probably know, I had to fire the boy that cuts our grass because I caught him stealing a power drill out of the garage.

Hell, an 85 with only 40,000 miles on it.

And there they are!

Please join Kiefer Sutherland, Lou Diamond Phillips, Charlie Sheen, and me tomorrow night for the original Fox Night at the Movies presentation of Young Guns.

No, no, no, please.

Excuse me, has anyone seen a little bottle of pills labeled heart medicine?

Hell, boy, that's just saltwater taffy.

That block of ice was for the sodas.

Okay.