Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

All right, up you get. Come on. Two more rounds and then home.

The world I lived in, heroes only existed in comic books.

You're on the news. Call me.

- leaving him totally vulnerable to the... - All right...

in a gang-related attack last week.

What's your name?

Hit Girl and Big Daddy, they were the real deal.

- I killed all the cameras. - Apparently not.

there wasn't a whole lot of crime-fighting in those first few weeks.

We should, like, talk to him. See if he wants to hang out with us.

Excuse me, ma'am. Have you seen this cat?

But more importantly, I talked her into mailing Kick-Ass.

What? Are you looking at me? Well, this is my business.

But don't get me wrong. I like girls my own age, too.

but it was a start.

Comic books this kid reads all fucking day long.

A worldwide web broadcast of the New York superhero

I care about you a lot, too.

Yeah. But I want to get some popcorn.

We got some of Kick-Ass's bâtons.

Daddy, I think I found one.

If you don't get your wannabe superhero ass in the car...

fighting a bunch of guys.

Who am I? I'm Kick-Ass.

I care about you a lot.

Check this out.

'cause I promised my girlfriend that I'm done with all this shit.

But we do got a brand-new industrial microwave.

Well, you know who this guy is.

That must have hurt! Let's see that again from the other side.

I was getting back to my old self.

I'll tell you who owes her a childhood!

I should warn you, that asshole Gigante is looking for Kick-Ass.

But even so, my new vocation kept me plenty busy.

So what in the hell are you guys waiting for?

All right? I was only trying to surprise you. I'm...

- Did you see those bodies? - Yeah, man.

Take my fucking coke?

No, I'm just standing around, you know.

And let's be real, no other request could have given me more pleasure.

- Shit. Fuck. - Red Mist!

Something wrong?

and he came up with a plan to get rid of Daddy.

What? Look, you can't go on...

Mindy moved in with Marcus, and he enrolled her at my school.

- Okay? - You fucking motherfuckers!

I'm... I'm a friend of Katie's.

Not until somebody finds this cocksucker

You wanna be my sidekick?

- I know a way you can get him. - Shit.

Do what you got to do.

You know what a silent "K" is?

Maybe it's the porn tape. He doesn't have a porn tape.

Wow, that's weird. I'm usually the one playing therapist.

He looks like a transvestite...

What do you want to drink? You want a Pepsi?

So at close range like this, the force is gonna take you off your feet for sure,

My son was there, and he's still missing.

A handgun bullet travels at... More than?

Dude, if anybody did it in real life, they'd get their ass kicked.

- Get up. - Thanks, freak.

Kick-Ass is killing my men, Gigante, that's what's up.

and break your fucking legs.

Playtime's over, kid.

Okay, pop quiz.

Under control? You're grabbing a fucking bazooka, you dumbass.

This would be the guy that looks like Batman?

Katie Deauxma just offered to buy me coffee.

- No problem. - You're the best.

that I'm gonna make it through this since I'm talking to you now,

That "long term" enough for you?

which witch is witch? witch is the witch that can cast spells on whiches and winches.

Hey, early birdie.

Look, only if we can go by the bowling alley on the way back.

You'd rather die for some piece of shit that you don't even fucking know?

Know what else we do? We don't do them individually.

and Daddy started a plan of his very own.

Okay, baby doll. Sleep tight.

The point is, some fucker is killing our guys.