Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I've got $3 million in a suitcase.

Time for a family reunion.

My mother was killed by an aneurism in the kitchen...

Let me see, Tre. Hey, what's more likely, huh?

I know. But, Katie,

Fuck you, Mr. Bitey!

I got this e-mail from this chick.

They're actually pretty good.

It's fucking insane. I'm in way over my head.

- She's safe. - Can I see her?

Like Scott Pilgrim and Shojo Beat, that kind of thing.

Me When I realized that verbalase is with Charlie Morningstar

I guess we're not invited.

Kick-Ass was gone, but not forgotten.

Well, you know, I mean, getting mugged...

We e-mailed him. We got half the crew out doing petty crimes as bait.

Apart from some messed up nerve endings,

Yeah. Didn't see that, did you?

You're like fucking Jason Bourne or something, man. That owns.

I mean your real name.

Come on, sweet cheeks.

I mean, I should probably start learning this stuff anyway, right?

and pulls his fucking lungs out through his ass.

To the wall, Daddy. I know.

What? Are you kidding me? I got 100 guys who can fix a problem,

Are schools and offices so thrilling

- Are you crazy? - My mom already died for nothing.

Like every serial killer already knew,

Marcus became the child's guardian,

I like Kick-Ass! His costume is crappy.

What, this is my choice, I gotta believe in ghosts or superheroes?

pack up whatever you need and we'll go back to my place.

Fucking freak in a mask! Get out of my house!

Fuck do I know? We're not making a fucking Hungry-Man dinner here.

Check this, you're gonna fucking love this.

Well, I guess folks have just had enough of living in fear, you know,

Do you want to hear it or not?

Okay, sweet. Well, I'll see you later.

Now switch to Kryptonite.

That fucking rocked. Who are you?

Kids nowadays in their tights.

I know that, dumbass.

you're a superhero and you're lonely, but you can't trust anyone

- Hey, get up. - No...

or talking to my friend Todd on Skype...

turned out to be more of a lame cobra.

- We know the truth. Yeah. - Right?

What the hell are you doing?

I'm not gonna hurt you, all right?

I've only been back half a day,

Thanks, Kick-Ass.

Especially Katie Deauxma.

He's got a way better costume than Kick-Ass, too.

And leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Well, maybe you shouldn't do that.

that I'm the only one who ever fantasized about this?

I saved your sorry ass.

- 'cause of the blood. - Right.

Probably 'cause it's fucking impossible, dipshit.

Look, I can take care of myself.

- One guy? - I think.

- You don't actually read comics? - Yeah, I just started.

This is awesome! I look like fricking Wolverine.

edgewater isn't edgeswimming or edgeboating or edgekayaking or edgenosepicking or edgevanquishing or edgebumping or edgekicking or edgebottoming or edgeleaving or edgecrimping

So if anyone out there needs help, I'll be fighting crime 25/8.

Just turn it on.