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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
- Selina: The FBI? - up until his extremely suspicious death.
whose daddy fucked with her just enough
No, Ben! You're my hatchet man.
You here to see me get interviewed by Mike on CBS News?
As excited as I would be
Don't you see you've just been offered the second-most powerful job
in a pool of jizz
I mean, you strike me as a smart woman.
- Let's go. - ( distant cheering )
Mike: The Presidential motorcade has arrived,
- Selina: Oh, God. - Ma'am, Governor DeVito
Maybe because he has two testicles.
More like a childless aunt.
next stop, the White House,
- Don't do it. - What?
decent, God-fearing heterosexual men
Ben can't have been more than 140 years old.
Impressive negotiation, ma'am,
The President told me to pencil you in to half-past. Go fuck yourself.
with that framed photo of his family's trip to Aspen
The president was in close contact with her husband Andrew Meyer
Oh. Madam President.
( takes deep breath )
I am not shaped like a rapist!
My wife, my pregnant wife, is not answering the phone.
The journey that we begin tonight
It's the only move we have left now,
Oh! I hope I can count on your support.
OK, fine! Jesus fuckin' Christ,
Yeah. I couldn't have done it without ya.
( crowd cheering )
to let me into the Oval Office!
What are you talking about?
- So we'll put a pin in that. - That too.
Ben: Morning, ma'am.
- how do you take your coffee? - Decaf.
after the IED attack.
I know. Why are you telling me things that I already know?
- Excuse me? - How'd she feel about tedious lesbians?
and I proudly accept your nomination
You know, it's worse having to hear it from Mike.
Ah! I got it. Little chia seed.
( whispers ) Glasses.
You came to the convention
you rue more than--
- I forget her name. - No.
Selina: What is Leon doing with her?
Kent: No, no! No.
So, what did the Palestinians do this time?
and I fell right off.
That is your punishment.
if you guys ever want to buy or sell a piece of property
- Sue, when I am President... - You won't be.
That sounds great. Fire Dan. He sucks.
Senator Talbot, and Governor Calhoun,
Mom, you need to tell the party
You want coffee from across the street?
to take over the ranch so I can focus on my watch-making.
Yes.
right up our party's platform,
You've been completely knocked out of the news cycle.
Ben? Where can he do the least amount of harm?
You soulless, conniving cunt!