Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

First scrimmage game, not even an official practice,

Pardon me for trying to class up the joint.

I mean, you got your whole room to yourself for the weekend,

MANAGER: Keep walking.

Which is what she's hoping for.

and now we're just gonna be hoping to get cast in anything.

Of course I can.

Wait, Jay Niles, one. Two? Who's two?

Oh, take off, you hosers! It's a Winnipeg Flip!

What, no speech?

I didn't mention hung, Dale, not yet.

Um, I suppose my dream girl would come bearing tea

Well, besides your ever-changing name.

in a crowd, completely alone, unprovoked, by the way,

Oh, that wasn't for you, sweetie.

and I've never seen anything like that.

'cause I grew up on two rivers.

- My dad was a table... - Fuck off.

Feel the freak!

you keep her buns downstairs. You got it?

semi-paralyzes the whole upper torso.

Enough with that, Jake here Just a chill dude

Self-professed, mind you.

JAKE: Yeah, man. They got me on the wrist,

But, I mean, half the guys in this house

Mmm. What's Oz?

who, at this stage, see you as someone trying to take their position.

I think we've already started engraving his name on the plaque.

Fucking thing wasn't even half full.

Helping decorate for a party at Oz.

Either way, you're fucked. Give it up, Beuter Perkins.

You know, we have to have at least two weirdos on every team.

Okay, that's her.

- No. - Superstitions are

ROPER: This might be our best batch.

So, what's your strategy? What's the game plan?

carefully get under said moose...

(SPECTATORS EXCLAIMING)

I kinda hate talking on the phone for extended periods of time.

If you wanna stay on this team, bro.

but I don't know.

- Oh, yes! - BEVERLY: Yes.

PLUM: Man, this is savage. We're getting fucking hosed out here.

- to come to this party. - (SIGHS)

It's batting practice.

Cotton-Eyed Joe.

FINN: Mmm-hmm, ooh, look at what we have here.

The fucking Mayans knew it, man.

Stop laughing, Dale!

ALL: Theater party!

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

- on a team anymore... - (HUMMING)

look, there's a lot of decent stuff out there.

Well, I gotta go inside for a second, but I'll see you soon.

She's gonna be looking for signs of dip-shitification.

Best costume ever. Amazing.

Yeah, no, I think I heard her say something like,

(GRUNTS) So, how'd it go with the Beverly chick?

When you really think about it, especially a game.

And until you do, you're nobody.

- Fuck it! - ...quitter?

but so is everything else in life.

(EXHALING SHARPLY) Nope.

I'm sorry. Don't touch it. Don't...

You know, we all make up this romantic crap in our heads.

So what, you want me to just

- That was beautiful. - Oh!

You running back to that corn-fed girlfriend of yours already?

- (WHISPERING) Your call. - I wanna go.

Hey, at least it was before practice, all right?

Soul brother, what's the deal, man?

Hey, motherfucker! Let's go, fucking Pancho Villa!

for the amount of smoke there's gonna be.

I don't think you could use that one, though.

- What's going on, fellas? - Hey, guys, this is Justin.

FINN: Take notes, boys.

Or is there a waiver for Lone Star?

- Yes, sir. - Temptation, my asshole.

You're talking about 62 pounds per cubic foot.

Oh, oh, oh. That's easy, that's easy.

finger in the solar plexus, count of three, try to sit up.

- BEVERLY: Yes. - That's a very tough question.

- Yeah? Okay. - Yeah.

Hey, you're the quiet guy in the back seat, Jake.

finding simple reasons for things they don't understand.

We used to play ball in high school together.

It might give you some kind of edge

Okay, he's real.

You mean, you had to, like, write a bunch of essays

You're at a new level here.

Come on, Plum, we're friends, man.

Fucking nailed that!

And that, my friend, is when it gets fun.

Put everything else out of your mind.

McReynolds was.

Well, what's confusing, Perkins?

but I'm pretty sure they're just making it up

Here you go, Plum.

That's a championship team right there...

So, I'll talk to you soon?

- Sit! - Heel, boy. Heel, boy.

- GIRL: Go, go, go. - (PEOPLE CHEERING)

- NEZ: I kinda like our relationship. - Mmm.

Just, uh, do the right thing, you know?

- Really? - Yeah.

Got both of them.

What about you? You play any sports in high school?

- You know what that is? - What?

- way over $300. - (ALL LAUGHING)

No trais Nada Frank Absoultamente Nada Oh really

"Looking for love in all the wrong places."

we already got the scouts here checking us out.

'Cause when you party like a savage

and said that? No.

and we're always ranked nationally.

They speed up at the end. See that guy?

- Yeah, Jake. - Coma.

By the way, you know what?

Always. It'll set you free.

Man, we're just worried about you, all right?

It's kind of beautiful, isn't it?

Hey, who's that douchebag she's dancing with?

- Little window? Yeah. - Yeah.

Come on. Come on, Mr. Ax. Strong Man.

"Oh, he's sliding home."

Well, who you talking to?

- BRUM: All right. - Damn!

That's cool, that's cool and everything. I like pussy.

- Oh, bite me, Finn. - FINN: I will not...

Okay, being completely honest...

Couple of guys are gonna go burn this with me

"I don't know. He's a marketing major."

Don't want the program taken down by a piece of poontang.

Welcome to the big time, boys.

Willoughby's gone!

If I look good, I fucking play good.

whatever it takes to get laid. That's who we are.

In the middle of our room, he left a Pink Floyd album

You know, that's a big adjustment to make.

It's one card away from a Saskatchewan straight.

You got some catching up to do.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Seems like there's a lot of stuff

Dancer chicks have great asses.

Come on, it's right in front of you, brother.

Hey, hold on, hey, I'm not saying you guys can't come, all right?

Just this little window of time.

That's what we heard.

It's the same shot every time!

you add a little whiskey, mmm, a little lime.

What I like to do is a little sugar, cayenne pepper,

- Happened once before. - Wait, really?

I like to chew and a-spit And throw a ball a little bit

With the cactus and cows