Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Hey, hold on, hey, I'm not saying you guys can't come, all right?

Dancer chicks have great asses.

I mean, you got your whole room to yourself for the weekend,

You running back to that corn-fed girlfriend of yours already?

Willoughby's gone!

Either way, you're fucked. Give it up, Beuter Perkins.

- BEVERLY: Yes. - That's a very tough question.

Come on, Plum, we're friends, man.

Hey, you're the quiet guy in the back seat, Jake.

You know, we have to have at least two weirdos on every team.

In the middle of our room, he left a Pink Floyd album

Don't want the program taken down by a piece of poontang.

but so is everything else in life.

PLUM: Man, this is savage. We're getting fucking hosed out here.

semi-paralyzes the whole upper torso.

- Yeah? Okay. - Yeah.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

- Yes, sir. - Temptation, my asshole.

She's gonna be looking for signs of dip-shitification.

Seems like there's a lot of stuff

With the cactus and cows

- way over $300. - (ALL LAUGHING)

Helping decorate for a party at Oz.

(EXHALING SHARPLY) Nope.

You mean, you had to, like, write a bunch of essays

you add a little whiskey, mmm, a little lime.

Fucking nailed that!

- That was beautiful. - Oh!

Fucking thing wasn't even half full.

Well, I gotta go inside for a second, but I'll see you soon.

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

FINN: Take notes, boys.

'Cause when you party like a savage

That's a championship team right there...

Or is there a waiver for Lone Star?

Yeah, no, I think I heard her say something like,

- My dad was a table... - Fuck off.

Hey, motherfucker! Let's go, fucking Pancho Villa!

Okay, he's real.

but I don't know.

So, what's your strategy? What's the game plan?

FINN: Mmm-hmm, ooh, look at what we have here.

I'm sorry. Don't touch it. Don't...

but I'm pretty sure they're just making it up

(SPECTATORS EXCLAIMING)

And until you do, you're nobody.

Oh, take off, you hosers! It's a Winnipeg Flip!

- GIRL: Go, go, go. - (PEOPLE CHEERING)

"Looking for love in all the wrong places."

"I don't know. He's a marketing major."

What about you? You play any sports in high school?

Man, we're just worried about you, all right?

ALL: Theater party!

who, at this stage, see you as someone trying to take their position.

You're at a new level here.

Pardon me for trying to class up the joint.

Here you go, Plum.

I think we've already started engraving his name on the plaque.

What I like to do is a little sugar, cayenne pepper,

ROPER: This might be our best batch.

Stop laughing, Dale!

Couple of guys are gonna go burn this with me

- Really? - Yeah.

When you really think about it, especially a game.

(GRUNTS) So, how'd it go with the Beverly chick?

Always. It'll set you free.

MANAGER: Keep walking.

Put everything else out of your mind.

- to come to this party. - (SIGHS)

- Little window? Yeah. - Yeah.

- Oh, bite me, Finn. - FINN: I will not...

You're talking about 62 pounds per cubic foot.

carefully get under said moose...

McReynolds was.

Um, I suppose my dream girl would come bearing tea

- Happened once before. - Wait, really?

So what, you want me to just

whatever it takes to get laid. That's who we are.

Cotton-Eyed Joe.

'cause I grew up on two rivers.

I like to chew and a-spit And throw a ball a little bit

we already got the scouts here checking us out.

and now we're just gonna be hoping to get cast in anything.

and I've never seen anything like that.

It's kind of beautiful, isn't it?

Come on. Come on, Mr. Ax. Strong Man.

Of course I can.

Feel the freak!

By the way, you know what?

Wait, Jay Niles, one. Two? Who's two?

Oh, oh, oh. That's easy, that's easy.

- NEZ: I kinda like our relationship. - Mmm.

Well, who you talking to?

We used to play ball in high school together.

Come on, it's right in front of you, brother.

- BRUM: All right. - Damn!

Okay, that's her.

"Oh, he's sliding home."

The fucking Mayans knew it, man.

It's batting practice.

Just this little window of time.

- on a team anymore... - (HUMMING)

finding simple reasons for things they don't understand.

and we're always ranked nationally.

That's cool, that's cool and everything. I like pussy.

- (WHISPERING) Your call. - I wanna go.

- What's going on, fellas? - Hey, guys, this is Justin.

First scrimmage game, not even an official practice,

What, no speech?

Oh, that wasn't for you, sweetie.

Soul brother, what's the deal, man?

You know, that's a big adjustment to make.

And that, my friend, is when it gets fun.

you keep her buns downstairs. You got it?

If I look good, I fucking play good.

- No. - Superstitions are

Welcome to the big time, boys.

Enough with that, Jake here Just a chill dude

It might give you some kind of edge

I didn't mention hung, Dale, not yet.

Well, besides your ever-changing name.

You got some catching up to do.

I kinda hate talking on the phone for extended periods of time.

Just, uh, do the right thing, you know?

They speed up at the end. See that guy?

Hey, who's that douchebag she's dancing with?

and said that? No.

So, I'll talk to you soon?

Which is what she's hoping for.

It's one card away from a Saskatchewan straight.

Hey, at least it was before practice, all right?

- Yeah, Jake. - Coma.

- Oh, yes! - BEVERLY: Yes.

Best costume ever. Amazing.

finger in the solar plexus, count of three, try to sit up.

JAKE: Yeah, man. They got me on the wrist,

Well, what's confusing, Perkins?

It's the same shot every time!

in a crowd, completely alone, unprovoked, by the way,

- You know what that is? - What?

look, there's a lot of decent stuff out there.

No trais Nada Frank Absoultamente Nada Oh really

Self-professed, mind you.

I don't think you could use that one, though.

Okay, being completely honest...

That's what we heard.

You know, we all make up this romantic crap in our heads.

Mmm. What's Oz?

If you wanna stay on this team, bro.

Got both of them.

- Fuck it! - ...quitter?

- Sit! - Heel, boy. Heel, boy.

But, I mean, half the guys in this house

for the amount of smoke there's gonna be.