Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

You just wouldn't listen, Nez. You wanna go half price?

ROPER: Ew. Stop.

It's a bad bet.

Is that really what you're asking me?

This big house just outside of town,

Right now, I guarantee you he's telling those girls

I don't know, man. (SNIFFS)

one ol' boy got hit in the head

BEUTER: I'll let you boys deal with that hocus-pocus junk.

You wrote about that for your essay...

Yeah. Hey, Beuter.

- Pete Ward. - What about him?

The second coming of Nolan Ryan.

by that asshole in the car back there.

Would you like to come see my large collection of heads,

I'm gonna go upstairs real quick.

Here for a good time not a long time, right?

BRUM: Yeah, sure thing, dude.

Hey, guys The name's Alex Brumley

What is the most trouble you've ever gone to, to meet a girl?

What, you just wake up one morning just fucking... (YELLS)

We have a little tradition out here welcoming in the new guys.

Just trying to help you! Ungrateful kid.

- About there? (LAUGHS) - Yeah, border. Borderline.

Um, you could probably come, if you want.

God, am I the only person living in reality here?

Dang, that sure is Lone Star. That's alcohol right there.

- Same shot every time! - All right. You know, um, Mac?

Even taking hits from bongs. (CHUCKLES)

Yeah, you keep up that funky-ass spin shit.

Well, well, well!

It's called a Manitoba Moose.

- ROPER: Oh, yeah. - They're intelligent girls.

I'll come show you a good time.

Those guys are always so fucking weird.

Oh, shoot, man.

you'd have been shut down. You don't see that?

I'll let you know when I feel threatened.

you know, I stepped up.

If it's a crime to be sexy then you're under arrest

JAY: Get out of my way.

Hey! Man-child here thinks he can take me.

Now, that's a fact, I know that.

Do it all wrong

What do you mean, "the Pete Ward thing"?

Hell, you got 21, 22-year-old guys over there

- (ALL CHEERING) - Yeah!

your guys' cup of tea, but, I mean, fuck it,

Okay. Number two, and it's a biggie, gentlemen.

Bachelor number two? Are you there?

in-between the notes that they're offering you.

It's this year.

Desperate for pussy! (LAUGHS)

- Finn? - Yeah?

Ah. Not very healthy.

- Fuckin' with me. - No...

Look, there are thousands and thousands of people

- (GIRLS LAUGHING) - Yeah, baby!

Say hello, Finn.

GORDAN: If you haven't met yet,

- How bad is it? - It's bad.

- (EXHALES) - ...and on the count of three,

All right, 307. Help me remember that?

Yeah, me, too, man.

I wish I had a tail. Fuck, that'd be awesome.

Not a lefty, are you?

- Sure thing. - (ALL LAUGHING)

we're gonna play cards, you have fun.

(PUNK MUSIC PLAYING)

Who are you to say he isn't real?

Bullshit! You're on the team now, baby!

(CROWD CHEERING)

Yeah, man, that's what she says.

Yeah. Yeah. There's gonna be too much smoke.

Yeah, "bitch boy."

with all the other little pigs you used to fuck.

Pete Ward's real. (LAUGHS)

Okay, you know, we all take turns being chumps around here.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

Let's just hope they don't realize what they've done.

- PLAYER: Good hit, Mac! - Hey, nice hit.

That's what we're talking about!

- Right. See ya. - Okay. All right.

FINN: Whatever, girls.

You know what, your little...

That's not true, though. You haven't danced with one girl yet.

You got the best cheese on campus

Shut up. Let's go.

I just implied you guys might be bored, that's all.

- You are a natural. - Thank you.

Hey, you still with Gretchen?

BEVERLY: Is this your first-choice school, or...

Back off! Don't touch me! Don't touch me!

We're out here, ahead of all the other teams

(FAUCET HISSING)

"Is his girlfriend in his family tree?"

I'm just not gonna do that.

FINN: See, the perfect rim ingredients keep the drink on its toes.

But beyond that, I'm not counting on anything.

(CHUCKLING) Not at the moment.

Let's go, boys. Let's go! Hey!

- Eight up! Eight up! Let's go! Let's do it! - JAY: Eight-eight.

Practice like you play, man.

What is that brown shit on your lip?

Okay, now play like you got some fucking semen in your sack, Brum.

and a big-ass joint on top.

"his cock looks like an outie bellybutton."

was the baddest guy on his high school team.

I'll shove it up your ass and I'll sign it!

and she's running them through the wringer, okay?

- (MOCKINGLY) Aww. - (LAUGHS)

with all your physiological phenomena bullshit.

(LAUGHING) You gotta be shittin' me, man!

And you think the way things are going now

Show us your PITTS!!

a holdover from primitive humans

Chug it, Justin! Go, go, go, go, go!

Uh-oh. If things calm down, Nez, you're next, bro.

- Jake! Hey! Hi! - Hey! Hey!

See, now the gloves are off.

in Coma's ability to get a hit

Good! Then don't.

FINN: She's testing you. She's trying to gauge your response.

I'm a fucking pro prospect, too, and you know it.

I don't know if you guys are doing anything tonight,

Hey, I don't think we really fit in here.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no. They're with us.

DALE AND FINN: (CHANTING) Jake! Jake!

- 20-17! - 17 -point.

because he was just able to do so without it.

You know, we're playing baseball.

- Oh, Jesus Christ, not this psychopath. - DALE: Oh, shit.

These people could really use a Bible!

- You drafted? - No.

There's only one thing bigger than my IQ

(SHOUTING CONTINUES)

ROPER: All right, what are we looking at? Let's see.

DALE: Thanks, man.

Student Center? Come with us. Come on, we'll fix you up!

Let me drop a Finnegism and make a Finnegasm

MAC: (LAUGHS) Yeah.

How did you know what room I was in?

Things only mean as much as the meaningfulness