Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Welcome to college ball, freshman.

I think we should.

- Oh, cool. - That was just a costume.

It's not phony. Okay? It's adaptive.

- Nice to meet you. - (SIGHS)

That's strike three. Dude, just sit down.

Now, come over here with those luscious thighs

Here's what we're gonna do.

There's five helmets right there.

I'll come over the bar and show you a good time.

- No, sir. She got the rag. - ALL: Aww!

Hey, man, you gotta appreciate it while it lasts, you know?

I've fucked more girls than you've cranked off to.

No, no, you don't fit in. Okay, I told you to change.

She needs quite a few more. You do, too.

Hey, ladies please pass me another

I'm a performer, all right? I'm a grower, not a shower.

There was a typewriter in the back.

PLUM: Fucking batting practices.

Who's Pete Ward?

- What a piece of shit old house, man. - Yup, yup.

Have a clue, freshman. The dorms suck.

You know, (STAMMERING) and don't be afraid

All right, smartass.

Did I say that? No.

I'm... I'm late!

JAKE: Ah. ROPER: Can we agree?

Hey, you guys sure Coach isn't gonna know if we've been drinking?

(MIMICS GIRL) "Hey, so have you had your chart done?"

Don't just put it on your neck. Come on.

- Transferring, playing ball. - Is he still here?

What the fuck game are they playing?

Just let natural ability take over.

- Ready? - Aim...

Hey, Jake, you're still not saying where that party is.

and yet it is a complete mystery to them.

Here we are ... P̶u̶n̶k̶s̶ Persians for a night!

I love this. What, is it pledge week?

is gonna be under or over $300.

Well, well, well, if it ain't Beuter Perkins! Hey!

Who’s this fuck

Throwing cheers to my boys

JAKE: That's fucking genius.

Bibliography! Annotated! Highlighted!

Is that A mustache?

- Hey, did you guys see me win? - Put your fucking hands up.

As of right now, but hey, don't let them know.

- Jesus, freshman, figure it out, man. - Oh. (LAUGHS)

My name is not Beuter!

Basketball team hasn't won shit.

PLAYER 3: Way to go! Run, run, run!

Well, man, I'll tell you what,

But why, you know?

or was it true?

DALE: Sweet double, McReynolds!

Are you a competitor? Are you a gamer?

It's putting yourself out there in art, in life,

Finn, me, and Coma We got Mac in between

- Oh, yeah? - This new 'do!

- Uh, California. - That's where you're from?

ROPER: There we go.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING UPSTAIRS)

Oh, shit, no, no, no. Is it?

- Fucking no. - No.

know what I mean?

Dude, you're staring, he's cool.

- I'll bet you 10 bucks. - Ten bucks?

WILLOUGHBY: But let's be honest,

What teachers will give you a break, what classes to take.

whoa hey the bitch stick?

- You know what that's called? - JAKE: No.

(DISCO MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

There's a fucking faucet outside, man! Hurry up!

you're gonna be seeing this guy on TV someday.

- Exactly. - DALE: Whoo! Whoo!

You're fucking yourself up.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

What are you gonna do with that?

Hi, guys. I'm Beverly.

PLUM: What's going on?

He does not like losing, at all!

We're gonna go in a bit. You guys wanna join?

told him that there's no historical proof

or some shit, man.

Two years in a row. Undefeated.

Yeah. No, not only that,

Hello, Beverly.

Stand up, Willoughby.

My dream girl and my dream date.

What's up, dude? Tyrone Plummer.

that I gotta complete, you know?

PLAYER 1: Yeah. PLAYER 2: Whoo!

You know what, I do have class.

of a bar, 'cause you wanna look fucking tough?

Everybody I know drinks a fucking screwdriver.

that we weren't supposed to have girls upstairs?

Get in here! You're up!

You know what, if I had a prohibition against sleeping with all women

We went over to the Guaranteed Wholesome.

Hey, check your pillows, man!

We gotta pay the phone bill here?

ALL: (CHANTING) Dale! Dale! Dale! Dale!

I was talking her language, I was meeting her on her level.

- Murphy! Trouble walking in. - (INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

don't shoot you from the absolute front row.

Oh, yeah, 95 on the gun, official.

You heard of "foot in the door"?

- Is that enough for you? Okay. - Yes. Yes.

How can I amuse you this morning?

I don't know. Tell me.

Hey, Jake, man, I'm sorry, all right?

It's gonna be a long fucking day.

- Phone. - What, man?

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

I was definitely messing with them, but I meant what I said.

- Yeah. Yeah, I know. - Right? Yeah.

ALL: Batting practice!

Like most things with these guys, it's total bullshit.

I was just implying that this party might not be

Yeah, she's definitely cheating on him.

I'll read a book.

- "The Eye of the Beholder." - Yeah, yeah, that one.

Yeah, I have. Oh, yeah. Before you got here. I was all up on 'em, man.

Like your dress.

The schedule says "batting practice."

I'm just supposed to be rooming with him.

You know, some guys are just so aggressive.

Right arm cross.

I got shit to do. I'll do some pushups.

- I'm fucking done, all right! - (LAUGHING)

- Why do you ask? - I'm curious.

there's probably the same ratio of intelligence

Oh, yeah. Are we mistaken?

- FINN: 304. - Can we go now, Mr. Stalker?

NEZ: No, not right now, but I can't do it.

It's like Carl Sagan says, man,

See how fast he's going?

I was just testing you. You pass.

The what award?

All right, man, he just don't like losing at anything.

Let's see what you got, kid.

He's this intense fuck from Detroit,

- Hey! - What's up, man?

(BOTH CHUCKLING)