Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

you can play an E pentatonic scale at 100 miles an hour

you know, you're barely even good enough to be here.

ROPER: You guys have no idea.

Like, I know what we're doing here.

- "is a cock jockey." - JAKE: Oh.

DALE: Finn's in his average cock mode.

NEZ: Yeah, no, the registrar's office discovered it.

If you're not there, then you probably don't care

ROPER: Well, look at this lovely bunch of ladies.

- So, I gotta get two? - Yeah, Mac, two.

Yeah, hey, you know what, do what you do best, Niles,

might make you feel tough,

FINN: I know a lot about the human body,

Boy, you better stay out of my way

and all that fun stuff?

(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)

"it's how those atoms are put together."

What, the old "What's your major" question?

JAKE: Yeah, you got that one where the lady,

I know that for a fucking fact!

So, what's this thing you're doing later?

to fold like a lawn chair?

Screwdriver! This place is fucking awesome.

Like Nez. I hate that guy.

Nope. I'm telling you, it's absolutely impossible.

Out, actually, for the rest of the day and most of the night, though.

- What am I thinking about? - Baseball.

I don't care if he grew up on 40 fucking rivers,

Okay. Well, get ready.

He didn’t beat me in karting and now I’ll smash him in golf I’ll take that bet... any amount you want (no more than £20 I’m skint)

The inside is even weirder.

COMA: The only thing you killed tonight

NEZ: Yes, sir! No, no, no! Get this, get this.

Nesbit. A pleasure.

MAC: That's right, freshman.

Thank you, Willoughby. I'm Finn.

Guys, were we supposed to wear a costume?

danced the Cotton-Eyed Joe in kicker attire,

Okay. Pretty soon. Then I'll see you then.

All right, I got fucking swimmer's lungs. I'm a river rat.

Hey, what position do you play?

BEVERLY: (IN BRITISH ACCENT) Bachelor number three,

But there's only 25 of us. We're the best team on campus.

Oh, yeah? All right.

PLAYER 1: I'm not doing it.

- Lookit. - What? What's up?

It's a little fucked up!

It's this physiological phenomenon.

- Sure, man, 309. - No, 307.

What's the five-knuckle shuffle?

Listen to this progression here, okay?

FINN: It's creepy! ROPER: Tell me about it.

You don't really seem like it.

'Cause I'm a superstitious fella

Say cheese, baby!

I feel like the Astros are going to win the World Series

(CROWD CHEERING)

- Fuck! - You're up, man.

Listen to how it goes up.

Like a party or something.

Friends don't strike out friends,

- (FLICKS KNUCKLES) - (NEZ GROANS)

But now that I don't play

Yeah. I mean, every guy here

Yeah, he's in there.

MAN: Have fun, boys.

- Really? - Yeah. God, I can't wait.

You should be investing this energy elsewhere.

Master plan for a higher man

You got a football team that'll win about three games a year.

JAKE: Okay. Stop, stop.

You're not one of those guys that thinks that

Coming around talking shit like that.

No, I don't, actually.

They, like, recruited us freshmen to help set up.

artsy-fartsy theater major friends.

- Yeah. - ...and you're addicted to winning.

It's not about you! Go fuck yourself.

Did I ask you guys to be in my room right now?

- Now we're full up. - (ALL LAUGHING)

You're making us look bad. Just sit down.

- You warm? - Yeah.

heading to the Student Center.

All right, think about this.

- All rightie. - Okay.

Humans were telepathic, man.

You gotta suck its dick.

as evidenced by this ill-fated and ill-advised adventure

- (HONKING) - Tit-tit-tit-tit-tit-tits!

Cheers for the beers.

in my room pretty soon.

You're a freshman, too. Not supposed to be hazing me.

but it turns out that she's beautiful,

(EXHALES) Did he just fucking... It's a fucking screwdriver!

- Shit, they don't? - No.

Yeah. Hey, new guys, listen up.

Bye. Call me later?

You know what I'll do?

meet them in the middle and...

You know, it's a gift to be striving at all, you know,

Party later tonight at the baseball houses.

Triple or nothing. Huh?

QUEEN: Ooh, a good one.

Nah, man. We just went by the house.

I'm climbing that tree, Jake!

Shut his fucking mouth.

And not only do those guys not give a fuck about you,

When you said you liked the quiet guy in the back seat best,

JAKE: Hey, you gotta walk me through this, man.