Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Master plan for a higher man

You know, it's a gift to be striving at all, you know,

Listen to how it goes up.

What, the old "What's your major" question?

- Sure, man, 309. - No, 307.

COMA: The only thing you killed tonight

BEVERLY: (IN BRITISH ACCENT) Bachelor number three,

FINN: I know a lot about the human body,

It's not about you! Go fuck yourself.

QUEEN: Ooh, a good one.

Triple or nothing. Huh?

Yeah. I mean, every guy here

heading to the Student Center.

I feel like the Astros are going to win the World Series

JAKE: Yeah, you got that one where the lady,

No, I don't, actually.

Shut his fucking mouth.

Party later tonight at the baseball houses.

might make you feel tough,

NEZ: Yeah, no, the registrar's office discovered it.

He didn’t beat me in karting and now I’ll smash him in golf I’ll take that bet... any amount you want (no more than £20 I’m skint)

All right, I got fucking swimmer's lungs. I'm a river rat.

- Fuck! - You're up, man.

But there's only 25 of us. We're the best team on campus.

You gotta suck its dick.

Bye. Call me later?

Listen to this progression here, okay?

- You warm? - Yeah.

"it's how those atoms are put together."

(CROWD CHEERING)

- (FLICKS KNUCKLES) - (NEZ GROANS)

You don't really seem like it.

- Lookit. - What? What's up?

you know, you're barely even good enough to be here.

- Now we're full up. - (ALL LAUGHING)

Okay. Pretty soon. Then I'll see you then.

but it turns out that she's beautiful,

Yeah. Hey, new guys, listen up.

(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)

Guys, were we supposed to wear a costume?

meet them in the middle and...

It's this physiological phenomenon.

And not only do those guys not give a fuck about you,

- Yeah. - ...and you're addicted to winning.

PLAYER 1: I'm not doing it.

Humans were telepathic, man.

Thank you, Willoughby. I'm Finn.

I don't care if he grew up on 40 fucking rivers,

you can play an E pentatonic scale at 100 miles an hour

MAN: Have fun, boys.

Hey, what position do you play?

NEZ: Yes, sir! No, no, no! Get this, get this.

in my room pretty soon.

JAKE: Hey, you gotta walk me through this, man.

danced the Cotton-Eyed Joe in kicker attire,

You should be investing this energy elsewhere.

and all that fun stuff?

You're a freshman, too. Not supposed to be hazing me.

Nope. I'm telling you, it's absolutely impossible.

Okay. Well, get ready.

Oh, yeah? All right.

(EXHALES) Did he just fucking... It's a fucking screwdriver!

You're making us look bad. Just sit down.

It's a little fucked up!

FINN: It's creepy! ROPER: Tell me about it.

All right, think about this.

DALE: Finn's in his average cock mode.

Like a party or something.

- All rightie. - Okay.

When you said you liked the quiet guy in the back seat best,

Say cheese, baby!

They, like, recruited us freshmen to help set up.

You got a football team that'll win about three games a year.

Cheers for the beers.

Nah, man. We just went by the house.

MAC: That's right, freshman.

You know what I'll do?

Like, I know what we're doing here.

- What am I thinking about? - Baseball.

I know that for a fucking fact!

Boy, you better stay out of my way

Screwdriver! This place is fucking awesome.

- Shit, they don't? - No.

'Cause I'm a superstitious fella

Out, actually, for the rest of the day and most of the night, though.

ROPER: Well, look at this lovely bunch of ladies.

- So, I gotta get two? - Yeah, Mac, two.

But now that I don't play

to fold like a lawn chair?

If you're not there, then you probably don't care

ROPER: You guys have no idea.

Yeah, hey, you know what, do what you do best, Niles,

Like Nez. I hate that guy.

artsy-fartsy theater major friends.

Did I ask you guys to be in my room right now?

Nesbit. A pleasure.

- (HONKING) - Tit-tit-tit-tit-tit-tits!

What's the five-knuckle shuffle?

Coming around talking shit like that.

Yeah, he's in there.

I'm climbing that tree, Jake!

- Really? - Yeah. God, I can't wait.

You're not one of those guys that thinks that

Friends don't strike out friends,

So, what's this thing you're doing later?

- "is a cock jockey." - JAKE: Oh.

as evidenced by this ill-fated and ill-advised adventure

The inside is even weirder.

JAKE: Okay. Stop, stop.