Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Shit fuck fuck shit fuck nuts shit fuck fuck shit fuck nuts shit fuck fuck shit fuck nuts Holy shit woman

Wait here a second.

NEZ: This is our third bar of the afternoon, boys!

Whoa there, Willoughby.

that we allow them to have.

"Oh, yeah, I'm a Leo. You know, very confident..."

Does she have blue eyes and a big ass like you? Huh?

and Billy Autrey, both freshman pitchers.

Well, the rules state that,

(BRAKE SCREECHES)

You know what? I mean, taking account of the situation,

It also says I'd make a great father someday,

- Almost went to USC. - Were you drafted?

Make a sister leave a brother

Cheers. To a beautiful night.

- Hey, man, I'm doing it, huh? - (CHAIN-LINK FENCE RATTLING)

I'd rather die a virgin than say my chart says

(PLAYERS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

Those fucking goggles, you can't use those to read?

Look, maybe it just feels like I've been here too long.

Too much of this smells like cat piss.

Hi. I'm Debra Kadabra.

You're fucking selfish, man! It's about the team here!

Fuck it! I'll fucking run home.

Wait, no, guys.

You close your eyes and somebody places a thumb

- Yeah, so? - You're a fucking badass!

PLUM: Super-human!

Yeah, and I know where he wants it.

Now I definitely gotta be there.

That the best shit you got?

Not one of these airheads we got running around here.

FINN: I've already done the calculations based on its usage thus far,

You get your teammates in a fight and kicked out

BEUTER:...and his answer is, his answer is,

Oh I got the best cheese on campus

Ah, I'm pretty sure that'd be Whitman.

I'll give you freshmen a little advice

Oh, I love this song! Come on.

(SINGING) O Canada!

FINN: Well, I can't do any worse. ROPER: Here we go.

You have to rise and meet them on their level.

You finally trading in that phone for the real thing?

'cause it makes you feel better, right?

- I'm ready. Get in the box. - Jeez, let's not.

who knows what fucking sweaty and encrusted items

where the whole world kinda goes away,

I'll make you feel loved while Willy's getting high

Best out of three.

Myself, I'm a firm supporter of the ERA...

Tit-Tit-Tit-Tit-Tit-Terds!

What are you doing?

It's not the writing of the Magna fucking Carta!

thoroughly equipped dungeon.

- ROPER: Hey, whoa! - Oh!

Might be a hit with the ladies.

Look, come on, man, you guys are already

15th and Avenue H.

All right, I gotta say,

Damn, put some pants on, man.

Undoubtedly Glen McReynolds, resident All-American.

of someone being so invested in what they want.

It's not even that we're not invited to this party,

Can we fucking play now?

Let me get this straight. A freshman

- Yes. - (YELLS)

ALL: No, no, no, no!

and nearly knocked his eyeball out of its socket.

and just kinda... (CLICKS TONGUE)

I'm the raw dog Rawest of raw

Good grief, guys, come on now.

Here, you're on your own.

all you talk about is baseball!

So you and me will be teammates,

Nothing too corrupted

Oh, yes! Yes! Ooh, two at a time, bro! Shoot!

they're chopping bits of your hair off, giving you real bangs. (LAUGHS)

JAKE: Fucking sucks.

Dude, some chick on the line, man.

JAKE: What's the book on them?

Yeah, I'm moving to New York the second I graduate.

This isn't what I was expecting at all.

(WOMAN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY ON TV)

All right, fellas, who's gonna be the first poor fuck

So, if you just gotta bring some little gal back to the house,

Oh, excuse us. Uh, I'm a Scorpio.

All right, her antennas are out.

Get all your stuff.

that they fail to see

Fucking mahogany rush, man.

- Shit, you like baseball, too? - Some nice... Fuck.

Stop laughing, Coma! It's not fucking funny!

So you're really serious.

FINN: Right there, Volkswagen.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

Yeah, I know, I know. A little full of myself.

FINN: We all tried it. ROPER: No. It's impossible.

through this world without all of your unsolicited wisdom.

Hey, Beuter, this your new roommate.

Oh, I got the best cheese on campus.

ROPER: Watch this. You ready? Try to move.

You just made fun of me.

Okay, five bucks that his girlfriend's in his family tree.

and you immature jerkoffs just fucked up my whole rap!

He's an animal husbandry major.

That's why I say, "Indulge in temptation."

BRUM: Hey, you're still the champ!

Hey, so, Pops, you pick out a name yet?

No. We didn't even have any sports, no.

Yeah. You trying to make me nervous?

to hit it with an ax?

I'm late for a very important date.

When you get there.

Ended up with that tall chick in the leather, you know,

- Dale Douglas. - Jake Bradford.

(DISCO MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

they would love to watch every single one of you fail.

The city's been generous enough to donate these houses

MAN: Yeah, come on!

The girls can be as big of sluts as the guys!

You know, it's first day of practice, all right?

- Is that a mustache? - Yeah.

Get the ball now.

ROPER: Anybody? Come on. Finn?

"Oh, he's still stiff as a bat."

FINN: See, you can tell a lot about somebody

That's what I'm talking about.

I don't know, man.

and then pour about half of that.

I'm the kinda guy that'll meet you after class

You see that back there though? Mac almost took my head off.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

- FINN: Oh, my goodness. - (ALL LAUGHING)

taking an at bat. Yeah.

Except for Nez, of course, 'cause he's still a virgin.

I like you, too.

Thank you, Nesbit! 17 -19, is that better?

And it stops around my knee

The chart says I'm overly confident, but the truth is (INHALES)

You know, where all the girls are.

- Cool. Cool. Mmm... - Yeah. Yeah. Very cool.

You ol Uncle Ben mixed with Redd Foxx lookin ass you ol Ice Cube mixed with Ice-T lookin ass You ol Bobby and Whitney lookin ass you ol Richard Pryor mixed with Mystikal lookin ass you ol lookin like you boned Rose McGowan and Rebecca Gayheart at the same time lookin ass

This just went from "cute" to "restraining order."

(PLUM WHISTLES)