Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Hey, Beuter, this your new roommate.

FINN: Right there, Volkswagen.

Fucking mahogany rush, man.

This just went from "cute" to "restraining order."

ALL: No, no, no, no!

Cheers. To a beautiful night.

I'm late for a very important date.

BRUM: Hey, you're still the champ!

Well, the rules state that,

Yeah. You trying to make me nervous?

Let me get this straight. A freshman

It also says I'd make a great father someday,

Get all your stuff.

Might be a hit with the ladies.

I'll give you freshmen a little advice

It's not the writing of the Magna fucking Carta!

- I'm ready. Get in the box. - Jeez, let's not.

- Is that a mustache? - Yeah.

- ROPER: Hey, whoa! - Oh!

Wait here a second.

and then pour about half of that.

Not one of these airheads we got running around here.

Good grief, guys, come on now.

Yeah, I know, I know. A little full of myself.

and just kinda... (CLICKS TONGUE)

- Shit, you like baseball, too? - Some nice... Fuck.

Does she have blue eyes and a big ass like you? Huh?

(DISCO MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

That's what I'm talking about.

You have to rise and meet them on their level.

This isn't what I was expecting at all.

- Cool. Cool. Mmm... - Yeah. Yeah. Very cool.

He's an animal husbandry major.

Oh, I got the best cheese on campus.

NEZ: This is our third bar of the afternoon, boys!

Make a sister leave a brother

(SINGING) O Canada!

You just made fun of me.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

that they fail to see

Wait, no, guys.

I like you, too.

Shit fuck fuck shit fuck nuts shit fuck fuck shit fuck nuts shit fuck fuck shit fuck nuts Holy shit woman

Ah, I'm pretty sure that'd be Whitman.

You're fucking selfish, man! It's about the team here!

Those fucking goggles, you can't use those to read?

The city's been generous enough to donate these houses

All right, I gotta say,

Myself, I'm a firm supporter of the ERA...

taking an at bat. Yeah.

FINN: Well, I can't do any worse. ROPER: Here we go.

All right, her antennas are out.

Hey, so, Pops, you pick out a name yet?

Ended up with that tall chick in the leather, you know,

FINN: I've already done the calculations based on its usage thus far,

You finally trading in that phone for the real thing?

ROPER: Anybody? Come on. Finn?

Oh, excuse us. Uh, I'm a Scorpio.

all you talk about is baseball!

Tit-Tit-Tit-Tit-Tit-Terds!

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

You know, where all the girls are.

Whoa there, Willoughby.

You know, it's first day of practice, all right?

BEUTER:...and his answer is, his answer is,

What are you doing?

that we allow them to have.

"Oh, yeah, I'm a Leo. You know, very confident..."

Hi. I'm Debra Kadabra.

That's why I say, "Indulge in temptation."

PLUM: Super-human!

Fuck it! I'll fucking run home.

- Yes. - (YELLS)

ROPER: Watch this. You ready? Try to move.

You ol Uncle Ben mixed with Redd Foxx lookin ass you ol Ice Cube mixed with Ice-T lookin ass You ol Bobby and Whitney lookin ass you ol Richard Pryor mixed with Mystikal lookin ass you ol lookin like you boned Rose McGowan and Rebecca Gayheart at the same time lookin ass

through this world without all of your unsolicited wisdom.

'cause it makes you feel better, right?

The girls can be as big of sluts as the guys!

Damn, put some pants on, man.

(BRAKE SCREECHES)

- Almost went to USC. - Were you drafted?

FINN: See, you can tell a lot about somebody

MAN: Yeah, come on!

Except for Nez, of course, 'cause he's still a virgin.

they would love to watch every single one of you fail.

I'd rather die a virgin than say my chart says

JAKE: What's the book on them?

of someone being so invested in what they want.

(PLAYERS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

So you're really serious.

I'm the kinda guy that'll meet you after class

That the best shit you got?

Dude, some chick on the line, man.

Oh, yes! Yes! Ooh, two at a time, bro! Shoot!

The chart says I'm overly confident, but the truth is (INHALES)

Oh I got the best cheese on campus

Nothing too corrupted

- Hey, man, I'm doing it, huh? - (CHAIN-LINK FENCE RATTLING)

When you get there.

and you immature jerkoffs just fucked up my whole rap!

You close your eyes and somebody places a thumb

Best out of three.

(PLUM WHISTLES)

thoroughly equipped dungeon.

You see that back there though? Mac almost took my head off.

JAKE: Fucking sucks.

Get the ball now.

Stop laughing, Coma! It's not fucking funny!

FINN: We all tried it. ROPER: No. It's impossible.

who knows what fucking sweaty and encrusted items

where the whole world kinda goes away,

You know what? I mean, taking account of the situation,

to hit it with an ax?

I don't know, man.

- Dale Douglas. - Jake Bradford.

Can we fucking play now?

Look, maybe it just feels like I've been here too long.

and nearly knocked his eyeball out of its socket.

(WOMAN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY ON TV)

Undoubtedly Glen McReynolds, resident All-American.

So you and me will be teammates,

Thank you, Nesbit! 17 -19, is that better?

they're chopping bits of your hair off, giving you real bangs. (LAUGHS)

"Oh, he's still stiff as a bat."

Now I definitely gotta be there.

No. We didn't even have any sports, no.

- FINN: Oh, my goodness. - (ALL LAUGHING)

Look, come on, man, you guys are already

15th and Avenue H.

So, if you just gotta bring some little gal back to the house,

Too much of this smells like cat piss.

It's not even that we're not invited to this party,

Yeah, and I know where he wants it.

Oh, I love this song! Come on.

Here, you're on your own.

- Yeah, so? - You're a fucking badass!

All right, fellas, who's gonna be the first poor fuck

And it stops around my knee

I'll make you feel loved while Willy's getting high

Yeah, I'm moving to New York the second I graduate.

You get your teammates in a fight and kicked out

Okay, five bucks that his girlfriend's in his family tree.

I'm the raw dog Rawest of raw

and Billy Autrey, both freshman pitchers.