Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Now, we're actually around a few potentially interesting young women,

- How's it going, man? - Hey. Two-dollar cover.

I'm gonna go upstairs real quick. I'll be right back.

Almost every single episode.

- You have. - (CHUCKLES)

FINN: Ah, you mean when a girl asks? That's easy.

Maybe one of the best days of my life here, Nez.

Hey, man. Nice to meet you.

They just got me five minutes ago.

Could've gone to anywhere in Texas.

COMA: Go get some glasses, Brumley.

Give me the room alone for a bit.

Can I borrow you for something really quickly?

- (EXCLAIMS) - (EXHALES)

- Yeah! - So she gets surgery,

I'm just... I'm curious. Maybe you study

Uh, we've got our party tonight.

JAKE: It's a thumb on your fucking chest, Nesbit.

ALL: (CHANTING SOFTLY) Derek. Derek. Derek. Derek.

DALE: Until we get out on the field, Jakie.

We can stop now. We can call it five bucks.

It's all coming around.

Tomorrow, same time, all right?

...those two things together?

- Oh, you gotta see this. - Yeah.

Maybe that, too.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

You don't really mean that.

- First time wearing cologne? - No.

Okay, fucking no cover, free beer! We can't afford not to go!

Are you insecure about the duck feet?

You know what they call me?

- Hey, Bradford. - Yeah.

JAY: Well, I'm a fucking raw dog, all right?

and you got your albums.

And don't forget, he does have

knowing there's no way you'd ever play pro ball?

You know, I'll still have a few hours

We just having good times, baby

I'll fucking go home.

PLUM: You got some moves. Alison, right?

Are you the guy that says,

Single-minded, and...

and just talks about what a pro prospect he is.

Yeah, you need this. Yeah.

It's my first days of college

but I feel like it's important to give back, you know?

I'm gonna come back there, and I'll fucking make you my bitch, man!

Get out of my shot.

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

BOUNCER: Let's go! Come on!

"How's your ballplayer doing?"

JAKE: I mean, they say it's called "O Canada,"

Hey, you return that with one scratch on it, Nez...

Yes. As soon as you tell me.

- I'm up. - Yeah.

- Um, hello. - QUEEN: Oh, hello.

- Cool. - Okay.

PLUM: You know how well you'd have to see the ball

COMA: Yeah, I think that, too.

- Michelle, Val, this is Jake. - (DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)

You know, can you find a way to overcome all obstacles

- Fuck off with that shit, boy. - (LAUGHS)

Man, your life's gonna fucking suck.

Sound Machine, all right.

Give me a fucking break. Finn. Finn. Finn.

Hey, girls, how you doing? I'm Roper.

It's this physiological phenomenon.

for the Freshman Numb-Nut of the Year award, right, guys?

I'm actually studying to be a cunnilinguist.

- (COUGHS) - Oh, yes. I mean, look,

Ah, we noticed that you never made it home last night.

- Let's go. Let's go. - I'm not gonna do anything.

Aren't most athletes kind of...

Yeah, Season 2, Episode 5, if I'm not mistaken.

Did you give her two solid inches, Beuter?

Wait, wait, wait.

I'll go back in late summer, graduate, do that thing.

And now, I can officially welcome you to Oz.

PLUM: This guy? JAKE: Yeah.

Hey, ladies! Happy hour is upon us at the Fox.

Oh, yeah. We're taking it this year, fellas.

I think I got a tear in my eye, Jakie.

Have you noticed, whenever we're around baseball,

(JAKE LAUGHING)

All his shit's gone, man.

Gotta get some meat on that boy's bones.

Oh, cool. And you're a freshman?

What matters is just getting in that groove

At his own peril,

Okay, so should I come over like right now?

All right, boys, let's go!

All right, that's a fucking stare down!

What, Disco Boy now wearing a cowboy hat and boots and shit?

or are you talking about marriage?

- Strike! - BRUM: Come on, Plum.

Dude, did you guys hear?

Fuck that shit.

...or I'm doing anything particularly "respectable,"

No, I have routines.

ROPER: (LAUGHS) Holy shit!

JAKE: All right, bro.

That's gonna be erupting like Mount St. Helens

(STRAINING) I can't. Fucking I can't.

it semi-paralyzes the whole torso.

I think it's a little bit of both.

to get this over with right here, right now.

We're gonna need a couple more.

Yeah, yeah. The Blue Jays almost picked me up,

- Like the one in Fame? - Kind of.

Astrology? Mr. Cause-and- Effect Rationalist? (LAUGHS)

FINN: How's that for incentive?

You know, not only are you not the best guy on the team,

They're talking about his dick, man!

it's about the way the ingredients make you feel.

So you wrote about Aphrodite and being a baseball slut.

- What the fuck? - JAY: Let's go!

How's that sound?

Hi. It's the quote-unquote "auburn-haired girl in 307."

A probabilistic framework and projecting meaning

You cha-chao before you even know it

Yeah. Yeah. Hi.

(BOTH CHEERING)

below the chest bone in the solar plexus,

Only been at college an hour

Waking up on Saturday like

Who’s this fuck

- (MUSIC CONTINUES) - (LAUGHING)

Hey, Finn, did you mention hung?

The Druids fucking knew it.

See, he tells girls that he has an average cock,

JUSTIN: This is my old high school buddy, Jake.

(CHUCKLING) Yeah.

They'd been investigating it for a while,

All right then.

I'm like, fuck it!

That is so sexy.

and check out my album collection, you know?

if I gotta face you down the line in pro ball,

- I hear Val is fun. Go for it! - All right, cool.

But it's the same thing that you're saying with the performing arts.

if you ever wanna play this game again...

Just return my album, man.

Well, now you just plain hurt our feelings.

DALE: God damn it, Plummer!

because that's what they want you to believe.

- Just warming up. - Mmm-hmm.

Willoughby isn't even his real name.