Ray Stevens - Sittin' Up With The Dead

Well I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more, I don't know 'bout you

and Uncle Fred just sat right up.

They say the dead can't hurt ya 'cause they already left

SPOKEN:

and unbeknownst to me he's still in there asleep

and when the nighttime come you had to sit up with the dead

"I'm headed out that kitchen door over there."

I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more no matter what ya say or do.

'cause you ain't gettin' outa here tonight."

"Might as well come over here and sit down beside me boy

but what they left can sure make ya hurt yourself.

They say the dead can't hurt ya cause they already left

Next time I'm just gonna send flowers... yeah...

Well I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more no matter what ya say or do

Well the town drunk dug it and he dug it too deep

he was 97 and so stooped over the morticians couldn't straighten him out.

Well we were all sittin' there it was 3 in the mornin'

and the chain 'round old Uncle Fred went 'snap'

and rattled and fell to the floor with a thump

And I ain't sittin up with the dead no more since the dead started sittin up too.

Well when Uncle Fred sat up so did everybody there

and there came a great partin' of the foldin chairs.

and so it was always customary

And didn't tell nobody in the family

'cause that's the kind of thing folks just don't want to know about