Chris vs. Donald - Get a Life [S01E13]

I just couldn't resist.

I hate you.

A nine followed by two zeros.

Otherwise, there could be disastrous results.

My head is a rock.

I dropped my hot dog.

I'd rather go to a livestock auction and get kicked in the face by a giant donkey.

Boy, it was touch and go up here for a bit, but we got through it.

Goodbye, cousin.

Thanks for making an ass out of me.

Stand in the place where you live, now think about direction, wonder why you have it now.

Folks, if you don't mind, let me interrupt your little simple-minded idiotic chit-chat here and share something very special with you.

Well, thank you.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself, kicking a man when he's down.

And, um, right now I'm gonna do something for you that even your precious little Donald can't do.

Mr. Donald Peterson, personal and confidential.

Failure to bring this account up to date could result in a minor interest penalty.

Picking on poor, helpless, sweet, innocent drifters.

He's the jewel of our tribe and he's no doubt headed for greatness.

Hell, boy, that's just saltwater taffy.

Dear Mr. Peterson,

I'm a rock.

I hate you.

Before we all form an orderly line here at the buffet table, it's tradition that we allow Anne Shirley, the matriarch of our family, to go through first.

And you've got a great used car that, well, that's mysteriously going to stink in a couple of days.