Chris vs. Donald - Get a Life [S01E13]

Long time no see.

Oh, hey.

Please join Kiefer Sutherland, Lou Diamond Phillips, Charlie Sheen, and me tomorrow night for the original Fox Night at the Movies presentation of Young Guns.

Do you know, I heard he wants six o'clock radio with just a butter knife and Elmer's glue.

I mean, the guy's got a huge ego.

Hell, boy, that's just saltwater taffy.

This last year has been one of great personal satisfaction for me.

Well, it's obvious we've reached a turning point here.

I don't know, but I hope he gets here soon.

Dear Mr. Peterson,

I'm about to cry like a six-month-old baby girl.

Fred, check this out.

I know we'd regret giving him that thesaurus.

Pick someone then.

I don't know why you dislike Donald, sweetheart.

Tell me, Christina, when you're not busy delivering your little newspapers and acting like a moron and boring people with idiotic conversation, what do you do in your spare time?

Well, we'll see what you think when your old man has to shovel me off his patio.

Goodbye, cousin.

Fine.

It seems that Sir Donald is nothing more than a flaming late bill payer.

Just call me Mr. Crisis Intervention.

Take it from me, you'll find that it's really the most wonderful experience in the whole wide world.

Donald, please, let's not get carried away.

So he's bleeding and cursing up a storm, so I says, hey, sorry, with that haircut, you look like a deer.

He's the jewel of our tribe and he's no doubt headed for greatness.