Chris vs. Donald - Get a Life [S01E13]

Wait a second.

You have family and friends that care for you.

Be a weasel for once in your life.

I'll pass it around.

I'd rather go to a livestock auction and get kicked in the face by a giant donkey.

Read it and weep.

Your woman stayed thin as a ray a month, but on more pounds than a pig in a slop house.

Now stay tuned, and all new Married... with Children is next.

Fine.

Goodbye, cousin.

Don't get your panties in an uproar, okay?

Hello, cuz.

You know, Donald, as a living, breathing human being with a conscience, I feel it's my duty to try and prevent you from jumping to your bloody death.

It's like everyone here is talking about Donald and that's all they're talking about.

Well, my daddy keeps mine in a safe deposit box down at the bank.

No, no, no, please, please, please.

Take it from me, you'll find that it's really the most wonderful experience in the whole wide world.

Oh, hey.

Just in case he didn't get the newsflash, I'm better than you.

Well, thank you one and all, and keep hope alive.

Hell no, Dad.

You have so much to live for.

You go first, Fred.

Folks, if you don't mind, let me interrupt your little simple-minded idiotic chit-chat here and share something very special with you.

I hate you.