Chris vs. Donald - Get a Life [S01E13]

Don't be a simp, honey.

Don't come any closer or I'll jump.

I finally got myself one with a siren.

Well, good.

It's like a 1960 Democratic Convention.

Folks, if you don't mind, let me interrupt your little simple-minded idiotic chit-chat here and share something very special with you.

Why does my car stink so much?

You know, Donald, I have to hand it to you.

It's nice to be supported by relatives that appreciate an honest effort.

Okay, okay.

I hate you, Donald.

and uh oh here's some disgusting looking meat or something oh look here's some pickled eggs hmm would you like one of those don't those look good they're as pink as a bunny's nose would you like little bunnies aunt shirley look give me my food and shut your trap hey put her way back there so we don't have to deal with her

This little ode to Billy Joe crap is a real crowd pleaser.

That's Donald for you.

To say that I'm a huge success, well, that would be an understatement.

I'm a rock.

Come on, Angel.

This last year has been one of great personal satisfaction for me.

Lovely clothes you're wearing these days.

Hell, boy, that's just saltwater taffy.

Yeah, yeah, a likely story.

I hate you.

I just put a new Donald in my truck, now she runs like a top.

Before we all form an orderly line here at the buffet table, it's tradition that we allow Anne Shirley, the matriarch of our family, to go through first.

My head is a rock.