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The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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who's been on a desert island for 40 years.

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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with heart pains and backaches,

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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Listen. Uh... I'm on a break right now,

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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Come on. A lot.

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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I'm really an officer on this ship.

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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I'm kind of a direct person.

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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♪ On a friendly shore ♪

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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Come on, give it a try.

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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Come on, let's go take a look.

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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survives a lot longer on salt water.

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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You wanna end up a lonely, desperate man like me?

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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This is a ship and everybody plays shuffleboard on a ship.

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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I'm a beautiful heiress being chased by kidnappers.

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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I'm a full-grown, red-blooded American woman.

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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but I think I'm having a heart attack.

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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I'm sure you'll make a big splash, mister, uh...?

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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My land, I'm sharing my room with a billboard.

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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I'm gonna bring you back a burrito so spicy,

The Love Boat (1977) - S01E12 Lonely at the Top/Silent Night/Divorce Me, Please

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Who goes on a cruise ship to have fun.