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Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

2.5s

In here.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

2.8s

I was in the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror,

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

1.7s

How's it going in there?

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

3s

I have no faith in this at all.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

4.7s

Nobody ever got their balls caught in a buttonhole.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

2.6s

So you want to go in there with no coordination,

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

4.7s

Now for her, I'd stand in line for a butter squirt.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

3.5s

All this wallowing in the past is causing other people to suffer.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

4.7s

But you don't have a turtle to put in the microwave anymore.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

3s

I'll put on my stupid jacket, we'll get in the stupid car,

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

3.1s

Very cute. I was in the neighborhood, I thought I'd stop by.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

5.4s

He's an amazing boy. We're very close, two peas in a pod.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

5.7s

I'm sorry, I don't actually work here. I came in for a belt.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

3.4s

Don't worry. I'm sure there'll be a gay guy in the shoe department.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

4s

- something that works, you want to bail? - I don't feel comfortable in this stuff.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

4.7s

I want butter in the middle. Don't just let them squirt it on the top.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

4.3s

I know you built your sundeck without a permit and I am calling it in.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

3.4s

If you want to play in this league, you have to make a few changes.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

4.3s

In fact, for the first time since college, I can go after any woman I want.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

6s

And I think I should start dressing in such a way as to play that card.