I don't need lovely houses, beautiful girls and classy restaurants, so good job I moved to Slough!

- Just a little bit above me and that's.. - I'm UK manager.

- The joke? - The gist of it.

Anyway here's the man at the top of the pile, David Brent.

It's the trade magazine for the paper industry. My ugly mug on the front!

- What was the joke? - It's about the royal family playing "20 questions".

What did the queen say?

- You put the chairs out yourself? It's great. - Yes. It's worth the effort.

Wrong. Indian fella in the warehouse.

You've won the argument doing that,have you? Yeah. Of course. That's won the argument.

I was the main thing and I did impressions of the conference co-ordinator, Eric Hitchmo.

Stop! Move away from the cookie jar!

Stop! Move away from the cookie jar!

Stop! Move away from the cookie jar!

Stop! move away from the cookie jar!

I assumed it was the... new guy.

Get UK manager of the month, Inside Paper, and pull a daft face. Typical.

One thing though. When you're on the phone could you keep the pig impersonations down to a minimum?

but they are exciting times with the merger.

Big day today. The Swindon mob are arriving.