I asked my

Oh my goodness!

It hurts my head.

Oh Jesus, where are my clothes??

Still no celebrities, Eric. Uhn, I'll keep my eyes open.

All right, so after my report on the unsanitary conditions of the school cafeteria,

Fellas! Don't you see? This proves my point. We have to elevate our ideas up,

This is closed-circuit television for South Park Elementary School. And now,

Super School News. News made for students, by students.

Welcome to Ssuper School News. I'm Jimmy Valmer.

And I'm Rick Cartman.

The price of milk money will go up next Monday to 49 cents. The school claims

the added money is due to the cow shortage in South Park County.

Parent-teacher conferences will be held this Wednesday night, from seven to nine.

So kids, get a lot of playing in before you get grounded.

And now, for a look at what's on the menu for school lunch today, here's Stan Marsh.

Eric, it looks as though the school will be serving a chicken cutlet. Now that's traditionally a uh,

a white meat chicken... breast, if you will, that has been breaded,

and then cooked. I've been told there will also be tater-tots, and a vegetable dish.

This is really shaping up to be a ah ah one fantastic lunch. Eric?