Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed.

And then one day he was shooting at some food, and up through the ground come a bubbling crude.

Well then, cousin Jake here can just do that boy's chores.

Granny, movie stars don't do chores like common ordinary people.

They do a lot of special stuff like getting shot off of horses and whooping a whole saloon full of bad men.

Ain't that right, Jake?

Quite right, quite right.

Well now, if you'll excuse me... You see, Granny, that's the kind of stuff he does.

I still say he ain't no Hoop Gibson.

Ooh-wee, ain't that a pretty automobile.

Well I ain't give that up altogether now.

If I don't like movie star, then I'll go back to brain surging.

Good thinking boy.

Never put all your eggs in one basket.

Excuse me, Cousin Jake.

I hate to bother you.

I know you're powerful busy being a movie star, learning your parts and all, but if you could spare me a minute, I'd like to ask you a few... Quite all right, Cousin Jed.

What can I do for you?

Cousin Jed, I think that you have come up with a great new discovery.

Well, now, I can't claim the credit.