Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed.

Heaven help him if he ever meets up with a billiard.

Outside of a politician, I ain't never seen any critter so all-fired anxious to shake a man's hand.

What's the matter with you?

Oh, uh, just with me.

It's been a whole year since the guys they all sat down at the table with us.

Hey, where y'all going with Herman?

That's the clown that rides around with the Lone Ranger.

Pale-faced squaw, speak with forked tongue.

I reckon the quicker we get this over with, the better.

Elkie, here comes Pa and Jethro with the guns.

You want to go hunting with us, Ellie?

But aren't you taking Thanksgiving bittles with us?

With Herman, that's two happies to one mad.

I am not eating with those dreadful people.

He ain't got acquainted with Herman like I have.

Now you do your best to make friends with everybody.

I sure will, Pa, and you can visit with Herman.

Them redskins wait until the menfolks disappear with the guns, and then they attack!

Why, they ain't got none of the hick... Hurry with the hickory nuts, sir.