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A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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When I was a little boy,

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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if you'll forgive my little joke.

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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So, you escaped, you little dishrag.

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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to make you feel a little more at home here...

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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No, no, no, no. You listen to me, little boy,

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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do you think your booky little brother is very brave and clever?

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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See, it's a little play on words. All tied up is a figurative...

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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One's vanilla, one has a hint of nutmeg and the other's a little lemony.

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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But I bet you little stage hogs are about to make the front page again.

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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Jacquelyn, could you bring the Baudelaire file in here, please?

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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Hello, my name is Lemony Snicket,

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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and I'm sorry to say that the alleged entertainment you are watching

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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is extremely unpleasant.

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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Jacquelyn, could you bring the Baudelaire file in here, please?

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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From the beginning of this miserable tale to the last melancholy scene,

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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I cannot think of a single line, a single word,

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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that does not chill me to my deepest bones.

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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Jacquelyn, could you bring the Baudelaire file in here, please?

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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However, the sad history of the Baudelaire orphans

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning 2 - S01E02

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did not begin in the private, somewhat ill-decorated office of Mr. Poe