Oh, Chris!

Chris Peterson?

Oh, wait, Chris.

Just a minute, Chris.

Oh, don't be offended, Chris.

Chris, wait, please don't go.

I am gonna sprinkle you with a little Chrissy sugar, then I'm gonna pop you in the oven and bake you at 450 until you're brown as one of my daddy's loafers.

Chris, that just means the play is about to start.

Won't you accept this pumpkin as a prelude to our lovely evening together?

And may I add that your perfume is quite pleasant and doesn't in the least bit smell like stagnant dishwater.

Let's be on our way.

I hate to start the night off with a complaint, but this is not the escort experience that I paid for.

Well, you know, uh, I'm sorry if I seem just a tad remiss in my duties, but I gotta tell you, your excessive age knocked my ass out of whack there.

Just a minute.

Maybe we better start all over again.

Now, to begin with, I assume a good escort would convey a proper compliment to his date.

Geez, if you could shut your trap for two seconds, I was getting to that.

May I compliment you on your... Oh, your unique style of makeup.

Oh.

It's very Clarabelle-esque.