I believe we had best step into my private office, sir.

We got all the stuff to make the Paul into a real doctor's office.

Doctor of Humanities.

Oh, that means everybody.

Why, them darn fool crazy mixed-up college kids, they made a mistake.

Well, what do you mean?

I've been doctorin' over 50 years and they give the certificate to Jim.

Oh, but you ain't been to college, Granny.

And you got to go to college to be a real doctor.

Yeah, like Pa done yesterday.

He only went to college for a half hour.

Well, that don't make no difference.

According to this, he's a doctor and you ain't.

Yeah, if you're gonna be a doctor, you gotta have one of these here so tickets to hang up on your wall.

Your Uncle Jen don't know chills from chigger bites.

He don't know what's from emulsion.

He don't know the grip from the pip.

What's all the shouting about down there?

Well, yonder he comes, the college doctor.

The one with the fancy piece of paper that says he knows everything.