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Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

3s

- Read that poem. - I can't read it. I need my glasses.

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

4.9s

And I was afraid that I would be persecuted for my beliefs.

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

3.1s

The first thing I'm gonna need is a driver.

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

2.1s

Just bring her here. This is all you really need.

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

2.8s

- Have you seen the pole? - No, he doesn't need to see the pole.

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

3s

- What? - Nothing. It's a card from my dad.

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

2s

I've been thinking, this might be my chance...

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

3.9s

It's a stupid holiday my father invented. It doesn't exist.

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

2.8s

- Embracing my roots. - They nailed you on the 20 G's?

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

2.9s

I celebrate Festivus.

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

3.2s

I think I could be a philanthropist. A kick-ass philanthropist.

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

2.1s

And if I felt like it, I would help them out...

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

2.9s

- I don't know. - Excuse me?

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

3.3s

...I don't really celebrate Christmas.

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

3.4s

I got him Yankee tickets. He's saying, "I gave your gift to someone else."

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

6.5s

Festivus is all too real and I could prove it... if I have to.

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

1.9s

Hey, I work for Kruger Industrial Smoothing.

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

2.2s

I gotta give Christmas presents at Kruger...

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

5.2s

Well, sir, I gave out the fake card because...

Seinfeld (1993) - S09E10 The Strike

2.9s

I would have all this money and people would love me.