Will you drop a beat so I can do a birthday rap? Ahem.

(DJ PLAYING HIP HOP BEAT)

(RAPPING) Yeah Hey, Thomas

Happy birthday You can suck my dick if you thirsty

I'm glad your folks are on vacation I just raided the fridge

And shit in the kitchen

Jew Pesci, go back to New York

You look like smorgasbord of dorks

Yeah, and I bet you got baby dick

The kind that got many AIDS and shit

And J.B., what's up? You wanna suck my dick

In the back of your dad's truck You fat fuck

You tub of love I'm gonna put you in the back of the truck

And give you a back tug Yeah

(CROWD BOOS)

That's a penis hand job

You look like a little gremlin And a teddy bear had a baby

What? Fuck you guys then, man. You all can suck my dick.

Fuck off.

Sorry about that, everybody, that dude's whack.