"I can reveal to you the as-yet-undiscovered creature

"known as the Sasquatch.

"Follow the trail along Old Kemp Creek in Washington State,

"and you will find him.

"I am truly the real deal, and I...

I believe you are, too."

Huh.

Old Kemp Creek. I knew it. Ha-ha!

The game is afoot!

Ha-ha! A foot. It's a... Hmm. Right.

Oh, it's you. You know I have strict orders not to--

Yes, yes, very good, thank you.

There he stood before me,

his wicked heathen eyes locked on mine.

No sound but the wind whistling through his grass skirt.

Then, in a flash, I fell to one knee,

thrust my hand down my trouser leg,

whipped out a pistol I had concealed against my inner thigh,

aimed it right between his eyes,

and dropped him where he stood quicker than you could say, "God save the Queen."