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A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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very special super-super-secret cookies.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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There's a secret you should know

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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So, if you want to spend the rest of your life with a pussy full of hair,

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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and then went back and killed the guy's teenage son

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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for which you gave your life.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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This was the American frontier in 1882.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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That, my friends, is the American West.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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Possibly for the first time in my entire life.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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and life was a daily struggle for survival.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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The American West is a disgusting, awful, dirty, dangerous place.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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Never been more serious in my life. You and me, pistols.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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The owner of the Moustachery.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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To build a home and a life in this harsh, unforgiving country

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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In front of the kids?

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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To capture the hearts of the fair

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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We are the guardians of the future.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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I take my life in my hands every time I walk out to my outhouse.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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I know. I've never been happy for 30 seconds in a row in my life.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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Pieces of shirt.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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Is this because of the gunfight?