You forgot the first rule of remakes, Jill: Don't fuck with the original.

You just won't die, will ya? Who are you, Michael fucking Mayers? Yeah, I don't think so.

But you, you re dumb blond with the big tits. We'll have some fun with you before you die.

Here's one that fucks you, dumps you and doesn't even make you famous. - What the fuck, Jill, I loved you!

Ok. Listen to me Judy. I don't mind that you re working with my hudband.

You know, I don't even know you... - ...and I dislike you already.

- And you care? - Don't you think it'd be a lot safer with me around?

- Did I interrupt something for you? Shut the fuck up. - Who invited you, Trevor?

- What, you re not gonna help you with this? - I can't.

How do you think people become famous anymore? You don't have to achieve anything. You just gotta have fucked up shit happen to you.

"I dare you to open the door." No, Sherri, don't. No, don't, I'm scared.

- I jumped. It scared me. - A fucking Facebook killer? You re kidding me right?

I am sorry. You don't have to be a bitch about it. - Of course I don't. Eat me.

- Gale, with all due respect, I don't see how that pertains to... - Because I wrote the book on this.

Ouh, this is Hall Pass with Robbie Mercer, here with the luscious Olivia "Don't look at my tits, I have a mind" Morris.

- I don't see why you get off on this shi..... - Marnie?

- I don't trust you, Trevor. - Hey. I am just gonna have to make sure that you do. Alright?

I ve got plans for you. I am gonna slit your eyelids in half so you don't blink when I stab you in the face.

- You were always so fucking special! Well, now I am the special one. - You'll slip, they always do.

- What? - Just do what I say. Get under the bed and don't make a sound and don't come out till I come get you.