As most of you know, I've continued to prosper.

The Peterson with the most wit, charisma and intelligence.

Now I'll paraphrase because most of you here have the attention span of a circus monkey.

This last year has been one of great personal satisfaction for me.

Give us kind of an update on what you've been doing this past year.

For the last year, I've been intensely studying the ancient martial arts of Taekwondo.

Take it from me, you'll find that it's really the most wonderful experience in the whole wide world.

And that's why, just a few short months ago, when my minister needed some money for a new space heater for his trailer, I handed the guy ten bucks.

As most of you probably know, I had to fire the boy that cuts our grass because I caught him stealing a power drill out of the garage.