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Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

2.3s

...two-Mississippi.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

5s

That two-faced, wife-poaching, soccer-coaching, rat-bastard!

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

5.4s

He's an amazing boy. We're very close, two peas in a pod.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

6.3s

- and date them two, three at a time. - Yeah, right. I mean, yeah, right.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

3s

Okay, after I get the tickets, you line up for the popcorn,

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

1.8s

while I go nail down some good seats.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

4.7s

I want butter in the middle. Don't just let them squirt it on the top.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

1.5s

And a large cherry slurpy.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

2.7s

Then you hold the seats while I go to the men's room,

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

1.6s

and then I'll do the same for you.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

3.2s

That way we can enjoy our drinks during the movie without fear.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

2.5s

Got you.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

2.7s

- You're not gonna do any of that, are you? - Nope.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

2.6s

So you want to go in there with no coordination,

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

5.3s

- no strategy, just winging it? - That's what I'm thinking.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

3s

I have no faith in this at all.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

4.7s

Now for her, I'd stand in line for a butter squirt.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

2.5s

Yeah, she is a hottie.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

4s

Hey, that's no hottie. That's your ex-wife.

Two and a Half Men (2003) - S01E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

2.3s

- Judith? - Alan.