They're called Thing One and Thing Two.

I can't believe it.

I can believe it.

I find that very difficult to believe.

I don't know just a whole heap about such things.

For one thing, the love scenes with young Rip Rock here are positively indecent.

Well, the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire.

When I first read that script, I said, why, these love scenes are positively indecent.

Am I a star yet?

I thought that was a heavy hairpin.

Can I speak to you for a minute?

I'll make a pitch for Ellie, I promise.

After I've been an extra for a while, can I be a star?

But I'm gonna pan her close-ups, dolly her make-up, and budget her arcs... till I have built her up... to what you call a top... box office has-been.

I can't make a picture with Mr. Clampett's daughter.

Well, Jethro says I got to be an extra before I can be a star.