Codswallop. Professor Snape is a Hogwarts teacher.

- And a drunk too, no doubt? - That's a lie.

Fame is a fickle friend, Harry. Celebrity is as celebrity does.

...purely out of the goodness of our hearts.

- He did not. - What's a Mudblood?

Finally, on a more disquieting note...

They don't mean a penguin, do they?

A mark like that only comes from being touched by a curse, and an evil curse at that.

And a thumping good one, I'd wager, once you're trained up little.

Ooh, We're a bit behind schedule. Best be off.

St. Brutus'. It's a fine institution for hopeless cases.

Mind, I haven't seen you since you was a baby, Harry.

You heard. Right. Come on, now, I'm a bit preoccupied today.

I know what that is!

Don't worry. Don't fuss, Petunia. I have a very firm grip.

Oh, and I suppose a great Muggle like yourself's going to stop him, are you?

Why, there isn't a wizard alive today that's not half-blood or less.

Snape is one of the teachers protecting the Stone. He's not about to steal it.

In my opinion, best day of the week. Why is that, Dudley?

Harry, This is Professor Quirrell. He will be your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts.