A sorry lot, this, Hagrid.

Unless it wasn't a student.

The last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened, a Mudblood died.

I read about it in Hogwarts: A History.

- Have a tea, if you like. - No, Hagrid.

- That's a boggart, that is. - Very good, Mr. Thomas.

So a genius like Dumbledore couldn't possibly be fooled...

And I have a few last-minute points to award.

...by a dodge as pathetically dimwitted as an Aging Potion.

Will earn you a one-way ticket to Azkaban, correct.

That's unicorn blood, that is. I found one dead a few weeks ago.

There was a time detention would find you hanging by your thumbs in the dungeons.

We don't even know this Tom Riddle. He sounds like a dirty, rotten snitch.

Something's about to burst out of Eloise Midgen, but I don't think it's a swan.

So it's only a matter of time before one of them is killed this time.

Hogwarts teacher or not, I know a spell when I see one. I've read all about them.

Maybe if the fat lump had given this a squeeze, he'd have remembered to fall on his fat arse.

At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup.

I want everyone to picture the thing they fear the very most...

Now, hand me the prophecy.