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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

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My name...

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

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- My wand. Look at my wand. - Be thankful it's not your neck.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

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- What about my sister? - Well...

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

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...with my entire collected works...

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

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...to purchase my autobiography, Magical Me...

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

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I'm afraid that's my doing, Severus.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

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Voldemort is my past, present and future.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

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...preserving my 16-year-old self in its pages...

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

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- Give me my wand, Tom. - You won't be needing it.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

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But I haven't had any messages from any of my friends.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

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You just ruined the punch line of my Japanese golfer joke.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

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- And you framed him, didn't you? - It was my word against Hagrid's.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

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So I decided to show you my capture of that brainless oaf Hagrid...

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

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I know. I accidentally set a python on my cousin Dudley at the zoo once.