Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

And the whole time, I wanna see that elf face.
A very nice, eloquent man named James is sending me his penis.
I wanna grow up with you.
I should just drop a deuce in my shorts.
♪ Merry Christmas And Happy New Year ♪♪
Still weird.
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna use Find My iPhone and find the phone.
Sweetheart, they're gonna clean that up.
It's hot in here. I run hot.
♪ And a partridge in a pear tree ♪
It's important, you know?
- Any guys? - Me?
I did it.
Okay.
- You're naughty. - I'm very naughty.
Folks out at the church would love to see you. Aunt would too.
Because I put cocaine blood into her fucking drink.
You hear me, young lady? Pop your pussy!
DJ Kevy Kev!
They worked up the courage, proceeded to call.
She Home Alone'd me!
No, Ethan, I'm not going to marry you.
That shit was the weirdest fucking experience of my life, dude.
- Ooh! Your bedroom. - Shut up.
Yes! You look weird!
- Take your piece-of-shit phone back. - It's the same phone.
♪ Not an imitator Just a crowd motivator ♪
This is the best.
So this is it, Diana.
I end every Christmas at this party.
- Should we do it? - Yeah, do it.
Come on!
Those guys don't need me anymore.
This is...
...is this party called?
This is a costume!
♪ Rice and stuffing Macaroni and cheese ♪
Come on, man.
I knew it! She fucking took my weed!
You need to fucking check yourself before...
- Who's Tommy Owens? - He's the best player in the league.
Do I look weird now?
- Hurry up. - You guys know this can't possibly work.
That could be oregano.
Who's the baddest motherfucker on Christmas day?
You ever see The Shining?
Of course it'll work!
Old people have so much stuff. You guys remember that.
...with a soothing body high...
All of a sudden I was just thinking about everything you've been saying...
♪ Now, I'm a take a try And get a piece of the pie ♪
Yeah, sure, yeah. Yeah!
My name's Joshua. I'm gonna be your Red Bull-provided driver for the evening.
Get in there.
♪ As I proceed to get wreck On your stereo ♪
I'm an orthopedic surgeon.
Ethan, it's Diana!
We did not do that!
- Your phone's in midtown. It's all good. - Ha-ha!
What's everyone doing?
Sure, hold my cane for a second.
I look funny?
But you know what?
- Oh, no. - What?
TMZ will love that shit.
yes really
Have fun.
♪ Now I'm busting raps While switching cross-faders ♪
It rips you up. If you see me naked, it'll blow your mind.
♪ I'm addicted like a stoag Not into vogue ♪
With so many drugs, I can't believe I survived.
Shit. Are you going to the Nutcracker Ball?
Because you're acting like a weird pebble.
Fuck!
- She stole my fucking weed. - Ha-ha-ha.
What? You gotta propose.
- It's fine. I love you so much. Okay? - I love you too.
♪ There is a reason ♪
Oh, my God! This is the greatest night of our lives!
- I know... - No!
- I'm looking for my buddy Ethan. - Oh, shit.
- Gosh, I am such a fucking piece of shit. - No, you're not at all.
♪ But each and every year We bust Christmas carols ♪
No girlfriend, no money.
That's why we got them mixed up.
That was there before.
You're making me a little uncomfortable.
You got beat up?
It's amazing. You've had the season of a lifetime. Congratulations, man.
Are you hungry? I can heat up some food.
Nobody touch nothing.
Anyway, that'll be a hundred bucks.
Congratulations!
I'm gonna keep being honest.
At least I'm doing something with my life.
- Now, I'm going to teach her a lesson. - Okay.
I walked by you and I heard you going on about your Christmas plans...
- Excuse me. - Ethan said. And she turned with a fright.
- Hi. - What's up?
Yeah!
I really love you.
Wait, I'm sorry. We're not getting married? This is a no?
♪ Are ringing a song ♪
This is the thing I didn't expect. To fucking like you, dude.
I love you too. Merry Christmas.
Don't put it there, Isaac. Okay.
Me, I don't have time for kids.
Dude, you make music that people have never heard.
What guy?
♪ Baby, please come home ♪
For a Christmas present tonight, I'm gonna take him under my wing.
♪ Nobody ought to be Alone on Christmas ♪
- Yo, carpet match the drapes? - Yeah, I got a big bush.
That’s ok
Now it's Christmas. It's not Christmas till we eat egg drop soup.
Merry Christmas.
There she is! There she is!
I thought, Wow, that's pretty fucking cool.
...that we should not be having this baby!
- Luckiest guy in the Park. - I sure am. Bye.
- Isaac? - Fuck. Yeah.
Is it just me? He's changed a little bit, right?
Fuck that park. It got crackheads.
Oh, God. Are you one of those guys that are always making up excuses?
Yeah, no!
It's so cold outside too.
- ...I wreck myself? - Ugh.
Your friends, they ain't gonna leave you.
You don't need to know.
And easy. My God, dude!
Man, you're everywhere tonight.
This guy's a grower and a shower.
She was rummaging through my jacket when I was hitting her from the back.
May I take your coats, gentlemen?
♪ To have the blues ♪
Thank you for my friends and their families.
...but there's a whole history here that he's brushing over.
This guy's a jock.
Give me some, Ma.
That was fucking touching, yo.
...so I didn't wanna meet your family...
Nobody touch shit.
You shut up! You're ruining my trip!
School's far. Your mom lives close.
Newsflash: Everybody's on steroids!
Bye-bye.
I want it to be you.
True.
♪ All I wanted Was to break your walls ♪
Okay. Fine.
It's amazing.
Wait, look!
- Your vagina. Woopidy-woopidy. - The biggest! I know.
♪ Bells will be ringing ♪
What? Maybe I'm high or something, man, I don't...
Oh, fuck.
False alarm.