Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I am such a fucking piece of shit
- Are we supposed to participate? - No.
We delivering turkeys to homeless people...
Oh, shit! What the fuck happened to you?
- Mush, motherfucker! - Whoa!
♪ Get on down ♪♪
- Are you okay? You want a hug? - That's okay.
- He's gonna be a great father. - Yeah.
Okay. Oh. Hey, hey, hey.
...and I wanna tell it on Christmas. If that's all right? So...
- Really on point, yeah. - On point.
I like enormous, almost novelty-sized dicks
Mr. Green! What's up, man?
If we're being honest, I should apologize to you also...
You like this woman?
My gif game is crazy (crazy)!
Why don't you come join us. Come on in for midnight mass.
♪ You know you wanna get down ♪
♪ Guess who's on the flyer The man of your desire ♪
Showtime. Let's do it.
But it's okay. It's no one's fault, really. We just drifted apart.
- What's up, man? - Hey.
- No, no! - I'm a lawyer! I'm a lawyer!
You think you can maybe help me out?
Yeah. I really feel like I can do this.
- Hand him over, reindeer! - Yo!
You used to sell weed to me and my friends when we were in high school.
And that made me feel better.
Good to see you, baby. Merry Christmas.
Did you bleed in my drink?
- But this has some serious shit on it. - I know.
That fucking bitch I’m gonna kill her
Can you even walk?
Come have sex with my mother and my father.
- Is that my wife? - Yeah.
- Oh, my God! Is that my phone? - It is. Do you have my phone?
I'm tripping my fucking balls off still, and you look like a dragon right now.
I know, and then you show up here and you propose to me...
♪ Baby, please come home ♪
- We're at Chris' house. - What the fuck?
No. I fucking hate Christmas.
We will.
Yes. You need to not bottle it up.
That's not happening.
Some company or something.
Yes, ma'am.
But she said that you've been doing a very good job.
- Get in there. - Aww!
Where are we?
Yeah, man.
It's happy. It's eager.
Oh, really? Two other guys?
What is with this holiday?
- Wow. - Sorry. Heh. I'm being too much.
♪ Christmas ♪
Yeah. Great.
- Hey. - Yo.
♪ And Santa's putting toys Under Christmas trees ♪
I know you.
It's fucked. There's a lot of blood.
...and your fucking chubby little baby-fucking legs!
♪ 'Cause I'll be happy ♪
Can we just not get derailed here?
- That's a lie. - It is. That's a lie. Heh, heh.
- But this is it. This is the last Christmas. - Last time. Right?
- Congratulations. - Mwah. Good to see you.
Hey, it's glass, man. Why you picking it up?
You guys have a nice connection.
Get rid of this fucking baby!
♪ Get wreck with the creator ♪
Miley Cyrus, this is the nicest thing that anyone's ever done for me!
No, no, no. There you go. There you go.
I'd love to hang out with two other people.
She did Miley Cyrus.
- Can I pet them? - Go ahead. They're fine.
But it's been really fun, though.
♪ In the fireplace is the yule log ♪
Chris, I wanna say hi to you, but you're surrounded by fans!
But honestly, I'm a little relieved.
I'm stuck!
- Just watch this. - Okay.
We're having a really fun night, actually.
Is that a challenge
Whoa!
Don't do this now. Please don't do this now!
This is the staff of life.
What are you guys doing?
Let's call! Let's call!
Hi. Heh, heh.
You know who you remind me of? One of my angry elves.
What?
♪ I came in like a wrecking ball ♪
But when you put on that costume and you portray Santa Claus...
♪ I came in like a wrecking ball ♪
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll call you. There we go.
- I switched phones with Sarah. - From work?
What a turn of events!
Great. This is your ticket. Please try not to lose it.
No, what are you doing, man?
I shape our nation's youth!
...when a young man named Ethan became an orphan.
Stop it! No, stop it, Isaac!
...but maybe not so soon after saying I would do your parents.
You guys can take it down to the homeless shelter.
You look like a crack rock.
not yet
♪ Happy once again ♪
And I love this girl. I'm starting to realize, tonight, she's the love of my life.
That was nice!
Oh, my God! Chris!
♪ C.L. Smooth cut it up like this ♪
You have so much of your own shit going on.
- Hi. - Really?
...it can't wait. Can you just come out here for a sec and we'll talk...
...and I don't want you to fuck it up.
♪ Friends and relations ♪
This your man, Chris Rob, coming at you.
- But you're gonna drink tonight? - Yeah. For sure.
What the fuck is your name again?
Okay, she's dating this guy, and he got us into this party.
And I'm just telling you right now that you need to go...
- Yes. - Yeah!
Ethan asked.
- Find the opportunity, and seize it. - Thank you, Mrs. Roberts.
Yeah, you shouldn't have let her go, dude.
Bunch of abnormal shit happened to me.
Don't touch it. People wipe their butts on those.
♪ Oh, what a Christmas ♪
I just hope that this nice young lady's vagina...
So, what do you want?
We have this tradition where we wear sweaters.
♪ To the sound that's legit I've come to make a hit ♪
I got appearances. I got all kinds of stuff I have to do, Ma.
What are you doing here right now?
Okay. All right. So here's the thing.
I've been on this dude's team for six years and he finally knows who I am.