Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

What with all the wedding plans, I've just been a little stressed.
# I see some pussy... #
- Yeah. - No.
I told you I wanted a Gucci one.
Go! Move, move, move!
OK. Follow me.
# Thank you, Jesus # # Thank you, Jesus #
Just chill, OK? We'll be out of this situation.
Get in here.
- Really? - Yeah.
Yo. Yo.
Man, I've never used a sick day before.
# Squad up #
Terrorist!
- "A poem of love by Kumar Patel. " - I need this.
Yeah, that's the one with that Jew, Ted Danson.
Yeah, but if he was a real friend, he would know how to say, "I'm sorry. "
I have a lost-love story of my own.
I'm gonna talk to her.
- Hey, let me read it. - No, no.
Dude. Dude, this chick's giving me such a boner, it's awesome.
# I see some pussy-ass niggas, so what the fuck you wanna do? #
What is going on here?
- Do you think that'll be enough? - I don't know. Yes?
- No, I haven't. - Yeah, well, it's fucking exhilarating.
Yo, that's racist, man. That's racist.
Raylene, meet Harold and Kumar.
Swim!
How about you take off your clothes and make out with each other?
You couldn't fucking wait?
These guys? No, see, they're with us. Yeah.
The professional way. We walk. Let's go.
You just blew my fuckin' mind.
All right, hold on. First we gotta do something for my buddy here.
# They say in heaven love comes first #
- When? - Next week.
# If you're in doubt then you are missing out #
fucking... sometimes I wonder if he's just encouraging me...
# What she don't know is #
Because I do...
# A knock on his door, his soul is no more #
Venus, come on.
It's OK, man.
And I can't promise you that I'm gonna mature overnight.
Anton is like totally gay.
It's not just gonna be about Kumar all the time.
Is this ignorant?
You guys have got to stay for supper.
That's what I think of the Fifth Amendment.
Well, that's just downright disgustin'
Are you sure you speak Korean, Jack?
- But... - No, Neil.
Let's do it.
We're only a wipe away.
- This is not good. - No, Kumar, it is not good.
- Shit. Shit. - Fuck. Fuck.
- OK, wait. - No...
No?
You brought weed on the fucking airplane?
You know, in Amsterdam, where we were going!
- Good to see ya. - Good to see you.
# Ooh wee #
It's 'cause you had something... That's good, that's OK.
# People get held back by the voice inside 'em #
Kumar.
Now do you see why I hate Colton Graham?
and I'd be more than happy to call the ACLU or the government...
Oh, boy.
There's only one guy we know who lives down there.
Thank you.
Very nice, sir.
# Sunday morning, Bizarre have faith Blunt in my mouth, watching TJ drink #
Dude, that is a fucking long story.
But what I can promise you is that...
Now tell us everything you know about their terrorist plot.
A bunch of dumb rednecks?
Think I'd miss a terrorist attack of this magnitude?
You try unplugging the AirPort base?
Ready the plane. These fuckers are goin' down.
- Why? - Because it's lame.
# Write out some raps, throw it in my lap #
Yeah, dude!
Dude.
even though I love havin' sex with some hot, random trim...
# Your dick look like Gary Coleman #
Kumar, just do what the guy says.
Why? I mean, with T-Bird gone...
I've been thinking about you this whole time.
- Now, does this hurt when I touch it? - Yeah.
Yeah?
Hello, Maria. My name is Kumar.
Turn around.
Of course, we're gonna have to get high first.
OK, well, we've got to find a way to get out of this.
That's what I think of the second Amendment.
- But, Roldy, I just... - Kumar.
# Live another day # # Brothers and sisters, Sunday at 4:20 #
Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for interrupting this beautiful ceremony.
He's gone.
- Hi. Hey. - Hey.
- You are awesomer. - Sir, you are awesome.
You don't see me freaking out.
Do we have the right to make a phone call?
God damn it.
guess what?
Bottomless Party
Longhorns coming through.
# I wake up praising God every day #
Yeah.
HYPNOTIC
- Hey, no, no, question number one... - It's kind of a long story. I...
What are you doing here? It's bad luck. The ceremony starts in a hour.
So how does this work?
Suit yourself.
# So screw it, strip down and be generic #
Fuck, fuck!
- Guess what. - What?
Let me help you.
Door, door.
And it's not like we got Gregory Hines out there.
I don't care. It tried to fucking bite me.
They thought you guys were terrorizers.
Get up. Get up!
That is exactly, exactly what it means.
You wanna give me shit now?
- Can I say... - Again. This is... I can't.
Thats right!! No way!
- Ever. - OK.
Born in 04
Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to, buddy.
I'm not stoppin' until you crack!
- What the fuck?! - Oh, my God.
Are you boys in some kind of trouble?
...what's up with this party? - What do you mean?
You don't have to believe in your government to be a good American.
You know, that actually might be our only hope.
What the fuck? What the fuck? What are you doing?
Freedom means nothing if you're a slave to regular programming...
She's adorable.
- Then I'm gonna do it. - Put it away. Put the frickin' bong away.