Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

# I want your fish right by me #

Dude, I can't believe they're getting married.

Hey, what do you think you're doing?

Dude, I'm not scared 'cause they're black.

You boys ready for your cockmeat sandwich?

What am I even saying? You look different and...

- But you showed the starship troopers... - Neil!

- No. - Holy shit!

She was Whoopi Goldberg's stand-in.

# Rob this motherfucker, drop his punk ass in a ditch #

- Yeah? - We get that a lot.

What's this? What do we have here?

Screw that. You think you guys are heroes for killing innocent people?

- What the hell happened? - That terrorist fuck bit my dick!

I'm taking the most incredible dump of all time, man.

I deserve an Oscar for that performance.

and if they don't cooperate, he could be sentenced to death.

Screw that, Roldy. I don't know about you...

She was a bitch and you know it.

I'm sorry. So, wait a second. So you're not with this dude?

that I'm letting the only woman I've ever loved marry that piece of shit.

# Your dick look like a little kid's #

Thank you, come again!

Good, you brought the keg. Lug that thing over.

If you guys need anything else, just let me know, all right?

I know. They're gonna be...

# Nah, baby, I don't smoke Newports, only fat bags of weed in this Escort #

Don't you be cussin' when we got company over.

Let's go, come on!

It's not my fault she didn't lube up.

- Oh, my God! - No!

# 'Cause most likely I got a blunt in my mouth #

What, are you like Doogie Howser?

Great. Now let's get those pants off.

The last thing anyone would want while fishing for pike is to be interrupted.

- No, shit, dude. You all right? - Fuck! I think so!

My idiot friend here brought marijuana...

I'm just saying that I can handle my own shit, all right?

Now, I thought that part of your life was in the past.

I fucked up, OK?

Sure there's not something you wanna tell me?

Well, maybe if the people in your country stopped eating donuts...

Hey, you really got some major connections to the top.

- Please don't let it be Big Bob. - I'm Big Bob.

This is serious.

- Motherfucker! - My Jordans, nigga!

# Come on, praise God #

- We've done that before. - We can do that.

# What you need, girl, a fucking refill? #

- Kumar Patel, you're flustered. - Little bit.

He told me you got a job working for the government.

Please don't let it be Big Bob.

He's actually pretty funny.

- Kumar? What are you doing here? - Yeah, let me help you up.

Why do you think that is?

Harold and Kumar.

All right, y'all! Come on over here and we'll sit around the campfire.

You think that just because I'm smart...

I don't know what you're saying, buddy...

Everybody relax. Just calm down. Everything is under control.

I fear that I will always be A lonely number like root three

Yeah, and how can you be so sure, Beecher?

They were locked up for less than an hour, and they already escaped?

Asshole, get out of here right now.

- Shut up. - We're gonna die in a jungle!

It's tough love.

# That was in the beginning #

You Arabs think you can just mix in with our peaceful society...

Yeah. I would imagine so.

Look, I know things can be hectic with the wedding.

Nail on the head.

- Is this true? - Yeah, it's true.

so that anything it expunges smells like Lysol.

- Get on your fucking knees! - All right. All right.

# Your dick got the HIV #

Bump your titty on her titty.

isn't yours getting married or something?

# Don't make me have to cut up a thug #

- Hold up. - You want to smoke now?

I tripped a beaner while I was walking down the stairs...

- All right. - Hold on, hold on, hold on!

# We keep holding on and we keep being strong #

They abandoned it last night. It's registered to a Raza Syed.

- Where are you going? - Bang bang, buddy.

Sure, sure, yeah.

You speak Korean?

By not bringing drugs on an airplane?

- Harold? - Kumar?

Listen, I was wrong about you, dude. You're not a douchebag.

Maybe we should get the fuck out of here.

Look, were you able to work everything out with Kumar and Harold?

To form a number we prefer

# And we keep going on and on and on and on #

- Yeah, that's really productive. - Let me show you how it works.

You're walking towards the creepy music?

He totally would have been able to bail us out.

- Your job sucks. - Admit it.

I don't want to hear the excuses!

- Wait... - Get down on your knees...

# Don't need nothin' but a good time #

No, I wish Neil Patrick Harris were still alive, that guy fucking loves him.

Tell them we know what their son is up to...

Szeptemberi 27, 1971

Vanessa? You OK?

So I guess Raza's...

We gotta get out of here before the people who live here find us.

May I remind you that we both just ate 30 burgers...

But we're almost there, man.

- You'd best watch your back, bitch! - Fuck you, dude!

but the Klan really knows how to party.

Thank you, ma'am.

- He's white! - So what?

Tough. That's tough. That's a tough one for her, isn't it?

- Shit, what do we do? - Let's go sit down.

Plus that dude has date-rape face.

Compared to me, you look like Matthew Perry.

# For lettin' me live another day, hey, hey #

# And it don't get better than this #