Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

There, there, my dear. Relax.

Oh, yeah? What's he been in?

because Lestercorp's open during the day,

You shouldn't be so quick to assume that switching bodies

I'm not asking for alms

Treats for everyone.

and putting everybody to bed.

and seeing what they see and feeling what they feel.

Don't call here anymore, okay?

- Want me to phone it in? - No.

But, Maxine, there's something, I don't know, like profound here.

Yes, there is. A brain, or soul or whatever.

So, listen, why don't we have dinner tonight?

I've never done this before, but...

I left Malkovich for you, sweetie!

Well, perhaps you can.

I know it's the craziest thing, Craig!

You don't know me, but I know you.

Of course. Right this way, Mr. Malkovich,

No. I am really attracted to you.

Okay. Ever want to be someone else?

John, uh... What is, uh... John, um, uh...

I've decided that I'm a transsexual.

and high-ceilinged rooms mock my stature.

- Okay? - Maxine!

He immediately went to see who pooped in Chief's office (even though it was himself!!!)

I'd like very much to see you again.

The puppeteer's voice need not merely be the record of man.

'cause we're gonna turn it into a business.

I'm sorry. I didn't know Orrin Hatch was out of his cage.

And I would like to redirect my career

That's what makes him one of the most relevant artists of our time.

I'll say you are.

No, that's what I'm saying.

recoiling from the limelight and, rumor has it,

- I'd love to see your work. - Really?

Maxine, this is... this is so right.

I'm splitting' for the day, puppet man.

Lester just wouldn't let me get away.

You're making him weep, but you are not weeping.

It's quite a thrill, Craigy.

You're my friends. Thank you.

that I'd found a way for us to live forever? All of us.

of Chicago's world-renowned Steppenwolf Theatre Company.

You're not gonna meet her there?

tell me, Dr. Schwartz, what do you feel you can bring to Lestercorp?

But I must enter by midnight on that day.

On the lighter side of the news,

Okay? It'll pass.

Hey, everybody, I'm home.

- Don't toy with Floris, Schwartz. - Oh, no...

Derek Mantini doesn't need a day job.

Excuse me, sir.

And the ones who don't go after what they want,

There's no such thing as a hole, or a portal, into somebody's brain.

to just follow through on our instincts, like Malkovich has,

Well, speak then, if you must.

is, I think the world is divided

but I can get us out of it, if you want.

Was ever woman in this humor won?

Because I raise issues.

I can explain about the portal, darling.

What the hell, you know?

SECRETOME. SECRETOME. SECRETOME. SECRETOME. SECRETOME. SECRETOME.

I look really amazing. I'd fuck me.

- Lotte! - Move right hand across left breast now!

Lotte, Maxine. Maxine, Lotte.

Rather than thinking of it as an enemy that has to be pounded into submission,

Dr. Lester, this is all really fascinating and stuff,

And they won't allow it...

No reason. I was just thinking.

Hello, Don. Hello, Wendy.

I discovered that portal. It's my livelihood. Do you understand?

You'll catch your death out here. Look at you. You're soaking wet.

on his 44th birthday.

And 50 other lines to get into a girl's pants.

No, he's much too powerful.

I want to do it!

You got the job.

And well, even speaking to you now has gotten me sort of excited, you know?

and I'll spill my goddamn guts for ya.

Exactly what, uh, type of service does this company provide?

I have a very unhealthy obsession with John Malkovich.

- and then those who don't, right? - Right.