Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

because it could have been her talking through me.

Now, my friends. The time is now.

We're gonna kill Maxine if you don't leave the body immediately!

Okay. Let's go. Come on.

I wanna try it.

- Craig, honey, time to get up. - Lotte.

And the funny thing is, Mr. Malkovich, my voice is probably

Me in leather. A harness, if you like.

"I was so freaked out."

Ouch. That is hot.

Malkovich, Malkovich.

doesn't have access to our product?

It's just a little mix-up with your secretary. My name is Craig Schwartz.

It's... It's the... I miss... I'm really John Malkovich.

- Fuck off, Craig! - Doesn't it?

Damn, you're good.

All of us. Celeste, Floris, you, me. Gary Sinise maybe.

Charlie, this is Emily.

Joe, did you get your coffee?!

I love you, Maxine.

Malkovich's rise to fame

Behind the stubble and the too prominent brow

and this was the sum total of my love.

it is important that you learn a bit about the history of this famous floor.

So tell me, Lotte, can you understand a word I'm saying?

to share our creative vision.

Cut it out, you guys.

Lotte? Is that you?

Therefore, I shall make ye...

Good afternoon, sir.

but, rather, the ear of a kind man with a noble heart.

do you know why our workplace has such low ceilings?

Sure. Sure. No problemo.

desperate humanity.

After dinner, I'll show you my puppets.

So where do you live and stuff?

listen to Lester's sexual fantasies and drink carrot juice for a while.

My name is Schwartz.

You are late, my little cowboy.

but, 49 words for snow?

Hi. I heard your voice.

I've never been looked at like this by a woman before.

Well, thank you very much. I appreciate it.

How public, like a frog

You get these half-assed ideas, and then you do a half-assed job.

Okeydoke. They're covered in grease.

Davey, it's Max.

a reflection of ourselves, our frailties

- 'Cause I'm gonna be late for Malkovich now. - No.

It's my second choice, but it's wonderful. It's...

how did you know it was me?

Wet his pants so all could see!

I'm glad you're coming to realize that.

Sorry about that cunt at reception

Do you think that it's kind of weird that John Malkovich has a portal?

Ladies, I begin. I am the love god Eros.

Poof, you're a puppeteer.

You see, I've been very lonely

I don't know if maybe we should exploit it. You think?

business stuff,

- My sweet, beautiful Lotte. - Oh!

we'll smoke a joint,

Well... it's just that I... I... I dream about you.

You're not a fag, are you?

and, um, I'd just like to thank God for giving us this opportunity

You're just... You're just

Sit up, okay? Just sit up. Just sit up.

If there's anything that upsets me about it,

You listen to me, asshole. I don't want your fucking money.

about the orientation film being bullshit.

You fell in love with her first, Craig.

Get outta my head It's my head

you wouldn't have a clue what to do with me.

I have a cousin who's a retard.

Where the fuck am I?

Now we're gettin' somewhere.

so I'll be working a lot of late nights.

Shut up! We're trying to think here.

But, Mr. Malkovich, sir, with all due respect,

Not everybody can be Derek Mantini.

Now I'd like you to meet some friends.

the world was not built with me in mind.