Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Do a puppet show for me, Craig, honey.

I must say, I was intrigued by your voice.

you wanted me to work.

Sorry about the cunt at reception.

Inc. Mertin. M-E-R-T-I-N. Flemmer.

and I didn't know how else to be with you.

- I know it's very... - Lotte?

Right now, on the way to Lester's.

- Maxine? - What?

I was John Malkovich.

What are you doing here?

Lotte, are you all right?

Listen, I really don't find this amusing.

Shoot. But it's business hours.

Live dangerously. Close early.

And the crowds have been absolutely sensational

Well, to quote the Bard, He's got the world on a string.

He's had me locked in the cage with my chimp,

Oh, my sweet Maxine.

I've gotta head down to ABT now.

his muse, his inspiration.

is a terrible curse.

Do you have any idea what it's like to have two people look at you

I have an interview with Dr. Lester.

- The chimp, honey. - Yeah, okay.

take such a hold upon my unhappy soul

You're evil, Maxine.

But I'll be in in a little while.

Maxine. Maxine.

You know, am I me? Is Malkovich Malkovich?

I'm sure you're not going crazy.

It's in my head, schwartz! it's in my head!

we've decided to offer you a place in John Malkovich with us,

Maxine, I am gonna kill you!

Malkovich. Malkovich.

I'll cook my lasagna,

Flattery will get you everywhere, my boy.

Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate.

Maybe you'd feel better if you got a job.

I think she'd like that.

we were spared God's severity.

I'm going to be working a lot of late nights with this partner

and, uh, art always tells the truth, even when it's lying.

I swear, sometimes it's not worth it. I piss orange.

Craig! Craig, I gotta go back! No!

- Malkovich, Malkovich - Malkovich!

Fuck off, Craig!

I don't wanna be your goddamn link, damn ya.

Chicken soup? Chicken soup?

I was thinking about what you were saying

Aye. What want ye, girl child?

Okay. Thank you.

No, Lotte! God, no, we can't really kill her!

if I could just get maybe three extra hand towels...

You don't know lucky you are, being a monkey.

Well, uh, trapped, held prisoner, if you like, in the host's brain,

Actually, my name is Craig Schwartz, Dr. Lester.

I figured out how to hang on as long as I want.

and the man who reinvented how we view puppeteering.

I am bad. I am bad. I am bad.

See, I got lonely in Lester by myself,

Maxine, honey, it's on!

What happens when a man goes through his own portal?

The passionate ones, the ones who go after what they want,