Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Gill! Sharkbait! Tell Your Dad! I Said High!

And no matter how many

I'm sorry. You three are gonna have to wait outside.

Trish: 300 black ops! Bob: It’s actually blackout…

Johnny, come on.

No, I'm... I'm nervous because of one simple word.

I know, I know. It's just that...

What the hell do they know?

You do understand that I myself am not a childr

You don't deserve him, John. You never did. You never did!

You're always cutting me off!

In my chambers! Stop beavering the witness!

You know, I'm surprised a lawyer like you gets high.

A little bit. I learned when I was a kid.

All right, yeah, thanks.

I totally fucking got you!

The next chick you meet, you are getting back in the game.

Raphael And Master Shake Versus! Lotso!

Crikey! All the animals have gone mad! U n h! Aaah! Get it out! Smack her in the head! Go, Gill, go! Fish in my hair! Crikey! All the animals have gone mad! U n h! Aaah! Get it out! Smack her in the head! Go, Gill, go! Fish in my hair!

They're all a bunch of fucking liars.

Look, look, John, John.

Uh, it's been discussed,

just take a seat and get to work.

What do you mean? I mean, we get a lawyer.

The reality is you have a really shitty lawyer.

Yeah, you're his boss and you two guys are enemies!

He's the only guy in the world whose sperm

I'm sorry to say I won't be taking your case.

block.note_block.guitar

Your and Ted's attempt to buy marijuana charge

if I had known it was gonna cause me this kind of shit storm.

a little boy named John Bennett made a wish

What does that even mean? Like, you're a thing?

Rick and I are actually about to tie the knot.

No words. (SNIFFLES)

Sir, if we could cut him open to see what makes him tick,

I'm so sorry, baby.

How are you feeling, John?

You come with me? Sure.

(SOBS) So beautiful.

(IMITATING ROCKY SOUNDTRACK)

but I need you to go to the waiting area now, please.

Could've been a leader, a role model.

Um, in the case of Ted v. The Commonwealth of Massachusetts,

So you can go fuck yourself.

That wasn't supposed to happen.

Oh, no, you're right. No, Johnny, it's fine.

is suing to prove he is indeed a person.

Have you guys at least tried marriage therapyr

No further questions.

What are you talking about, "private shit"? Johnny, it was wide open!

JOHN: Oh, Teddy, he's adorable.

That was an accident.

This is a nightmare.

argues that the standards for personhood include self-awareness,

(ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)

Here it comes. Okay, okay. I'm ready.

Well, that was the logic I arrived at as well.

Italy Japan Spain United States Of America Germany France England Brazil

that they're probably having a debate.

Right there. Death to Ming. Yeah! Come on. All right.

Mmm, it's actually delicious.

Well, I have to interrupt you or else

she was looking at black cocks.

You look a little down.

Oh. Thank you so much for being a part of it.

You just have to hang onto the wall.

Yep, bring it on.

I could assign her to your case, pro Bono.

JOHN: Oh, yeah. She wants more

A baby? Like really?

I am trying to climb the corporate fence, here!

(STUTTERS) Okay, maybe something else.

And (GASPS) he had a dick! He had an awesome dick!

Hey, Johnny, how about a beer, huh?

Hey, watch that floor. Comes up fast, man.

We're married. I don't care what anybody says.

I want to feel useful, you know?

What are you buying over there, Tami? Gold bars?

Jesus Christ! Listen to you! You're delusional!

Go get my Cookie Crisp out of his ass.

God damn it! What the hell's wrong with you?

(PRICING GUN CLICKING)

and The Importance of Being Earnest, which was very disappointing.

on the collected works of, uh, Red Bull?

Congratulations, Ted.

now that you're legally a person?

Dude, that's fucking awesome! Congratulations!

You're acting like a fucking asshole!

Frozen songs during the opening arguments.

Who gets subjugated after the bear?

One that loves me just as much as you love John.

when and where did you first encounter Ted?

Great, great! Here, follow me.

Down that hallway, to the left.

I can never get a signal in your apartment. Hey, can I use your laptop?

No, but I'm pretty sure Mr. T could kick their ass!

No, the circuits could still be reconstructed if somebody worked at it.

It's so beautiful.

"Well, this is different," we say, but it isn't.

Shut the fuck up, you stupid bitch!

Hey. You didn't let us down, Sam. You did your best.

So what do you sayr We all goodr

fulfill their dreams of having children.

No, I love it. It's really good.

(R&B MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

you're not gonna change that.

Now, the case we'll be examining today is really quite a simple one.

TADASHI: Hiro! CASS: Hiro!

他妈的闭嘴！

Dear God! Dear God in heaven!

over your divorce lately

I just don't want you to get mobbed when people recognize you.

John, you've been saying that for over a year-and-a-half

block.note_block.imitate.piglin

What do you mean?

YOU’RE COVERED IN TALL GUY SPERM, YOU LOOK LIKE JOEL ASSAGAIER.

we could take him back, with only a trivial degree cf legal consequence

Well, first of all, there's the question

What do I think you're doing?

You should have seen your fucking face!

I'd, uh, like to ask a few questions about this breakfast cereal.

of you smart-ass Harvard lawyers try to keep him down,

(LIP-SYNCHING TO SONG)

Then, by the power vested in me,

how would you categorize your relationship with Ted?

so I'm supposed to check out the unit.

Oh, you guys are getting married?

Sitting out here in public, jerking off'?

JUDGE: Thank you, Mr. Wild, for your opening statement.

Wow. That's the cornerstone of any great marriage.

Dude, have you seen the guys in Boston?

It's the intermediary station before insemination.

TED: Yeah, Sam. This puts us in kind of an awkward position, here.

just because you're singing a song I don't know.

with just a splash of Grey Goose?

Oh, my Godl Are you kidding mer

(GAVEL BANGS) Order!

I love you so much.

(STRAINING) There we go. Thanks a lot, come again.