Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Is Ted a human being?

JOHN: We're giving you the tools, buddy.

We got to find something to scoop it up.

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Yes my turn assholes

Oh, what the fuck? What are you doing?

How I'm going to pay for this European Trip

TED: Oh, my God! You heard that?

Hi. How is he? Is he gonna come out of it?

Objection. She's not his wife. The marriage was annulled.

After all, you know, Ted spent many years

Okay, I'll see you then. Bye.

Yeah. Hey, that's the name of the South Korean president. (LAUGHS)

Thank you. Thank you. I love your dress.

There are more important things in life than money.

Well, I've been meaning to clear some of that out.

your pants while you ate an ice cream?

Get your BJs here.

Look, we call the Statue of Liberty "she,"

You just got to bang her and maybe pee on her a little.

Yeah, go ahead. Okay, thanks.

No, not once, not ever.

And my fucking nose came off.

TED: That can't be normal. He's got to be sick.

Technically not a person. Yeah. Jesus Christ!

I was an asshole and I didn't mean it.

As much as anybody I've ever known.

Just fuck your own brother in the front seat

Eat my pussy! Have some apples!

You probably see this kind of stuff all the time, right?

You know what this is? It's Super Lemon Haze.

Hey, I'm really sorryl Yeah, me, too.

Guilty! Speculation!

You know what? This is bullshit!

(SINGING) Hold me closer, Dr. Danzer

with no kid pointing to where his uncle touched him, huh?

You see him anywhere?

I don't know exactly what makes a person a person.

He didn't make it.

I should've married Robert DiCicco. I really should've.

What do you mean you're getting ready?

Yeah, no, yeah, no.

JOHN: Oh, Teddy, What the fuck? (SCREAMING)

People are trying to sleep!

Johnny, you got to wake up, pal.

And as soon as I'm done fucking myself,

I said I would consider it.

(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)

of Tami-Lynn's drug conviction.

"Dear Ted, you are no longer a Papa Gino's rewards member."

Crikey All the animals have gone mad Unh Aaah get it out smack her in the head go Gill go fish in my hair

Uh, no, ma'am. We're just minding our business.

Well, you know, I just don't want my lawyer singing

I just got a call from the Labor Department.

Crikey! All the animals have gone mad! U n h! Aaah! Get it out! Smack her in the head! Go, Gill, go! Fish in my hair!

to change the world.

I'm Dr. Danzer.

That's the Donny difference.

Well, yeah. I mean, it would have to be a pro Bono situation

Will you just listen to me for one secondr

We got to bury it in the harbor.

My Turn, Assholes

You play the guitar?

Some people go through their whole lives

Are you okay? Johnny, you all right?

Oh, cool. (CHUCKLES)

Hey, we just ran into your buddy Ted.

with a wife-beater under his Bruins jacket

Uh, no, that's... That's not in our budget here.

The definition entails the rights thereof

Get out of my house!

You get a nose job? No.

Too loud! Too loud for me!

Hashtag "Grr, Mondays."

Well, it comes down to this.

There's so much porn!

Megamind (2010)

Crikey! All the animals have gone mad! U n h! Aaah! Get it out! Smack her in the head! Go, Gill, go! Fish in my hair! U n h Aaah get it out smack her in the head go Gill go fish in my hair

Listen, I just really want to thank you

You're an important man. You should never have to smell pee.

Thirty years ago,

Goldner and the board cannot know about this until we have him.

Apollo Creed Clubber Lang.

It's just so infectious.

Ted, you're special.

I would, like, kick so much ass at mommin'! (CHUCKLES)

CLuKr: His name's "Fuck Scott Fitzgerald"?

His name's "Fuck Scott Fitzgerald"?

My name's Donny.

(JOHN GRUNTING)

What defines property?

Say it. Just say it. Say it.

Hashtag "My amazing summer."

Raphael Master Shake Lotso

made it sound like your status had gone under the radar for some time.

No No No o No No No No Oh No!

Yeah, he's hiding something. it's "Fuck."

They've denied you the same rights as everybody else

Okay, all right, for real, guys, for real. Who's got a person?

weird soccer-mom-looking Goonie monster?

I am the face of the business! Okay?

Oh, right, yeah, sorry, I'm just a little nervous.

but we've become such a high profile case,

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

Uh, those aren't supposed to be out.

Why the hell is this just coming up now?

Oh. Oh, that...

your ovarian canal has been somewhat compromised.

Well, it's a little different.

A babyr Like reallyr

Wish I could help you, but we're closing.

The drugs, the parties, the prostitutes, the arrests.

(STUTTERS) Wait, Mr. Brady!

Is that correct?

And I don't think I ought to be treated any different.

you're a person.

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and forget about the most important aspect of this case.

I mean, hell, this is the first job I ever had.

On Tuesday nights, we get fucked up and throw apples at joggers.

Šš. Jie netrukus paskelbs apie naują Supermeną.

TED: Hey, buddy. You okay, there?

JOHN: Hey, what the fuck are you doing? Get off of me!

Is this hilarious? I got it at a bachelorette party.

Yeah. Well, you're not the first guy

Yeah, there was an issue, so he's

I'm sorry. But as of today, you're fired.

Well, under the circumstances, I guess it's okay.

We just have to make sure Ted loses the case.

I should never have let you drive.

I won't be able to perform the implantation procedure.

we are only able to recognize the just point of view

l-lev,, 5l-.u+_, Iady!

At least you figured it out early.

Hasbro can have no connection to this.

Yeah, I was just gonna say it's sort of like this other batch we had called

to change the world

so when I get in there I could just bust it out.

Well, Donny, I'm extremely busy with the Comic Con presentation...

I love you, too, baby.

a broken marriage and make it work againr

Hey, so, uh, listen, I got, uh...

and,honestly, it's the more serious one.

Now this is a multi-platform release,

He just reminds me of when I was a kid.

please wake up.