Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

He was in Mary's arms in the nativity scene at St. Michael's.

♪ Can you do this? ♪ Yeah, I can do that

Yes, Doug. Thank you so much.

Thanks for the dance. No problem.

(ROMANTIC SONG PLAYING)

(EXHALES) Oh, God.

♪ The big, big bang

He's a priest overseas in the military.

Please. I'm just sick of dating assholes.

This could have easily waited.

and over here we have contestant number 4... stop touching the bags!

Come on. Let's go get you married.

♪ Gonna make me fall in love with you

I know. Maybe we could take one night off.

Please help me. I don't know what else to do.

chuck wood a could wood much how.

(GROANS) Don't worry about Lou.

with its goldia floral etching,

I have to be honest with you guys.

That means I'm smart. Shit. Where am I from?

Yo, where are the women at?

♪ Rock it, don't stop

Carew, you're a podiatrist in Knoxville.

Did you take one of those pills Plunkett was handing out?

It said monologue.

he knows I'm not Bic Mitchum.

You perform four nights a week at the Walleye Nook.

♪ And light that shit up

200 unsuspecting guests

through sickness and health,

you are backing yourself into a very tight corner.

♪ And you-you-you-you

I want to do all of that shit, but I can't.

It doesn't mean that we're going to be best friends.

Come on, we've got to go.

Mrs. Harris, can I talk to you for a second? I'll get the thing.

What? Honey, you told me you spoke to all the groomsmen.

Oh, it's okay. It's okay.

I may have been to a point

Your broken CD player repeated it over and over and over

Until last December.

is being honest, you know?

None of this is real. (GUESTS GASPING)

Honey, it's my favorite. Please.

LOU: Fuck off. Okay.

I'm not sure I understand what you're implying.

(MOUTHS) Damn it.

direct from women's unreasonable fantasies

and if someone asks you who said it,

No, get in my car. Come on.

I was just telling Papa Bear here

We'll make you look great, rock your wedding,

You know, the old-timers versus the groomsmen.

(ALL GRUNTING) Hut! Let's go, Doug!

Hey. Doug's on line one. Something's wrong.

yes beryl scial are you a member of the priory of sion? yes when i do a spinerette.

♪ Let's live it up ♪ Let's live it up

♪ And something borrowed

Hey, can I speak to you for a minute? Like, two seconds.

Right now, we're 30 minutes away

I can't guarantee that, but I'm quite sure that they will want you.

See, this all started because you wanted to make a guy feel good.

I don't understand why they do these things

Or say, Hey, Doug, come on, let's go have a beer next week.

That's the Doug that I know.

Yeah. Why is his mouth on your genitals?

No! No peanut butter! (DOG BARKING)

♪ And you-you-you-you

Then, he says, Can you be my best man?

george stop being a rohahust! sorry faye.

(TIRES SQUEALING)

FITZGIBBONS: Take his pants off!

♪ Now my vision is no longer hazy I'm very lucky to have my crew

♪ Gretchen was dumped

You're not helping me. You have to dig deep.

GRETCHEN: But our Wedding's in 10 days.

Stop it. Stop. Of course, she loves you.

to be your lawfully wedded wife,

All I do is go from job to job,

I've got the ball! I've got the ball!

No. No, not that, per se.

You got me there, buddy.

I'm serious, man. You got the real deal tonight.

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER) Ow!

and me and you, we are done here.

Well, actually, it was Gretchen who said it.

Running the Santa Monica Marathon.

They just caught us off guard.

the phony Facebook friends here.

Holy fucking shit.

Where to, boss? Just drive, Otis. Just drive.

it becomes a permanent part of your memory.

Oh, Henderson's a very small town, Ed.

I remember one time when these kids took my lunch

Yeah, isn't he from Wales?

Far-sighted or near-sighted'? Far-sighted.

it's our goal in life to find her.

So, are you still the hopeless romantic?

LURCH: Whoa. Easy there. That's going to be your dad.

You went to Harvard Podiatry School? Yeah.

Mr. Garvey, Mr. Plunkett, Mr. Carew,

Yeah, you can't invite everyone that you want to.

Tell me why I'm from North Dakota.

because this is hot, hot, hot! Okay?

Unless you are planning to run,

After they did it, they started to

Never did I think she would like me,

I swear to God...

Seth, what about that weekend in Carlsbad Caverns?

ENDO: Dougie Fresh!

I'm just happy the big day's finally here, to be honest with you.

It's a pleasure finally meeting the love of Doug's life.

You're so mean!

Well, you've lost that.

put your drugs away. Do you hear me?

I told you I need you to drive.

I have to say, I learned from the master.

(ALL SCREAMING)

♪ Combustible

No, there isn't.

Political views?

Mmm. I'll drink to that.

was a pretty lonely life. I don't want that life anymore.

Uh, Bic must have gone a different way.

So, I'm going to need you to stop crying like a little girl,

OLDER PLAYER 2: Dog pile!

♪ I think I wanna marry you.

is what we joke about around here.

Fuck this, fellows. Shit just got real.

I'm really inspired by black, American soul singers.

or Aquafresh toothpaste, would you?

So, who are you really?

Yeah, great. No, we don't do that.

What? I love her. You know that. What happened?

Do you want some nachos?

(GUESTS GASPING)

I'm sick of driving. I want in.

OTIS: Those old guys are fast and crazy, man.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

(GUESTS CHEERING) ♪ Teach me how to dougie

(ALL SCREAMING)

♪ It's only a paper moon ♪

You're looking at your groomsmen. Come on, man.

Isn't Tom Jones white?

Lou had to go away for a while.

50 grand. Done.

Oh, God, Marci's going to kill me.