Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

He was telling me how to be a real man, as opposed to the sort of

trying to figure out how to get kids to eat Cap'n Crunch instead of Froot Loops.

It's just like the day that my...

I never should have opened that diary. It's like Pandora's hot, sexy box.

I want to make amends with anyone I ever hurt.

"All I have to do is kiss her."

- It's weird. Your tongue tastes different. - What?

I should, shouldn't I?

Oh, my God! I'm your mom!

- they want anymore? - The best way?

I've already got it memorized, so I'll just leave it on the table.

walking toward us right now?

You're getting warm.

You already did.

That's Hampton Roth. He's an incredible writer.

The Teamsters won't set up the satellite feed!

But at last minute, he gets a gig in Philly, which, of course, he takes 'cause...

That's a game that adults play sometimes when they're bored.

- How's the Professor? - The Professor is wonderful.

I was just curious.

That's a very good question.

- Not like this. - Like what?

from bagels and toilet paper to signs and bumper stickers.

I just sold an entire table for $50,000.

- That has nothing to do with this. - Nothing to do with it.

But Tuesdays and Fridays are my favorite days.

Yeah, give us a call sometime. We should all go out for dinner.

Bitches, they can kiss my...

- When I'm old enough. - Yep.

"Words fall out of our mouths and die at our feet!

Which may involve some type of threesome now.

Always on the cutting edge.

in 1992 to be exact, in a little town called Madison, Wisconsin,

It's weird. It was never quite right. You know?

after going too fast for way too long.

And on top of that, I was positive that in just a few hours,

Yeah, let's fill up the tub and drop in a toaster.

It's gonna blow over. - Right.

and considered a key political advisor of the White House.

Emergency room? Hello?

- Nice? Yeah, he can handle himself. - Sure, I can handle myself.

Christ, you're tall.

Have the coffee here by 10:00, or Arthur's gonna kill me!

I've never spent the whole day in bed with a really great guy.

If they didn't want a baby, then how come they had sex?

Okay, kiddo, here's the deal.

'Cause if we stay together, Will, we're gonna be miserable.

that sometimes the husband and wife penguins get separated

- Yeah! It was a total disaster. - At least it got them reading.

Oh, my goodness. I'm in big trouble. I love this girl!

And then you just left?

Over, over, over!

What's a threesome?

Okay, stop. Now go forward, slowly.

What are you saying, Hampton?

I know. Shocking.

I've been saving money.

- Emily! - Emily!

I have no idea why. They're like kryptonite to me.

I'd... Yeah, I'd love dinner.

- Well, who is it? - Not telling.

- Emily. - Yes, William.

I have something for you.

- Come on. We're walking. - We're walking.

- boy-man I seem to be. - Did you learn anything?

Hey, monster, that was fun today. I'll see you on Wednesday, okay?

I don't think she's gonna let us in.

We need to talk.

I mean, the incredibly hot start, with Paco basking in my love and admiration...

"I could run away right now with Caroline Hopper,

If you could just please paste it onto a menu,

The truth is, I loved him.

- Yeah. - I don't even know I'm doing it.

Will Hayes, I worked on the '92 campaign.

- Really? - Yeah. It's gonna be great.

How come you changed all the names except hers?

- Wait, wait, wait. - I have no reason to be afraid.

in the beginning of the story always gets dumped.

- I'm pregnant. - You're what?

I think you should tell me the story of you and my mom.

I'm not. This is a money gig. I get paid 12 an hour,

Big deal. Everyone has their weaknesses, you know?

that I said to her on her birthday.

I don't believe it! I don't believe it!

Yeah, I get it.

and then after we broke up, I just felt lost.

"The most endangered species in our nation

Happy Birthday!

How does it have a happy ending?

- Just stand up, Will. Stop. ...with absolute clarity.

- No. - No, don't tell me!

I feel horrible about taking the...

You know what the funny part is? It's $1,000.