Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- Wow. This is pretty good. - Will, this is really good.

- that I want to be part of it anymore. - You were there

- Gareth. - Hayes.

and some of the facts, but I just decided that right now.

Did you have another girlfriend before you met her?

But I screwed it up.

I'm not. I just know that these bozos you're working for,

As I recall from our first encounter, you're a man of principles and ideals, even.

How glad the many millions

And inside, he wrote a beautiful inscription, which I could care less about at the time

I'm writing these really dumb items for New York Magazine.

- I'd vote for him again. - In a heartbeat.

I'm a workaholic.

You think he did it, don't you?

Yes, I understand your concern, but I think you should remember

You should dump him.

- Maya. - I need to know!

"... infantilized by a youth-obsessed media..."

- 20 bucks. - I got 20 bucks.

I mean, how do you accidentally thrust a penis into... Hi, Luis.

Goes 'round the moon

And before I knew it, even though we were separated by entire worlds,

But I don't think I will. You see, I don't want a fling.

Take it easy, Maya. It's just a story.

I wrote three speeches for Congressman Sweeney.

You should practice with me. I'm really good at that. I will be Emily.

Now he tells me to deny it.

Oh, come on! No.

- You wanna bet? - Sure.

Guess that's it for Emily.

No, but you're off to a great start.

she's mine, not yours.

It's your birthday party. Everybody is waiting for you.

You Don't Look Happy Or Excited About The Prospect Of Our Marriage!

- Yeah. - William Hayes?

What's all that noise?

- This is great. - Thanks.

- These? - Yeah, both of those.

we became great friends.

I'm gonna hold you back from all these...

- I called you. - I know.

You're just gonna have to figure it out for yourself.

I couldn't imagine not being able to hold them.

- This has been fun. Yeah. - Bye, toilet paper guy.

Wake up to a new America.

So the last time we saw William Hayes,

because there's no way I can face going alone.

"We are all half-dressed, pretending we can't be seen by the boys.

- Is that Emily? - Is that Emily?

Hey. That is a coincidence. I love women that say "unfailingly repugnant."

Easy. Easy now.

there lived a young man named William Hayes.

That's funny. In a minute, I'll have 40.

My number is 212-664-7665.

From... Don't tell me!

4.25? You pay $4.25 for a pack of cigarettes?

...I knew... - Put that back in your pocket.

Thank you. - Scotch, rocks, please.

Okay. All right, munchkin. Let's go!

Once upon a time,

That's not funny, Hayes. That's very...

Did you know that penguins mate for life?

It was 1994, and New York was full of new life.

And it was swell

For the past two years, I have lied to the press about our relationship to protect him.

And the staplers and those scissors?

"One hundred million are wiped out instantly..."

You're beautiful. You're sophisticated. You're a very talented writer.

But you had such persistence

for an institution that fails as often as it succeeds?

Which idiot forgot to check the menus and the programs?

No. Until I was 16, I wanted to be an actress. I wanted to sing on Broadway.

Everyone knows that the girlfriend

She wants to be the girlfriend, except it's too late.

- But I understand. I get it. - I actually think it's very sweet.

That was the start of the Internet. And overnight, everyone in Manhattan

I was gonna say, did I ever tell you about the day my dad proposed to my mom?

- which is good news, right? - Could be.

"With love and hopes and dreams of second chances. Alice."

I love long-haired brunettes with horn-rimmed glasses.