Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- Okay. - We had a deal, Dad.

I always wanted to say this.

- Is that yours? - Meet the Mist Mobile.

who calls himself Kick-Ass is about to be shown live.

Dave Shouldn't You Be Looking At Hamlet Right Now?"

- Don't kill him till I get there. - Right.

Okay, maybe I was still in the beta-testing phase,

it's only a matter of time before Gigante is looking for you.

I rerouted your IP address. Finding you was way too easy.

Hey! God! No, please, please!

Guardian of the universe.

He must be someone's son, someone's brother,

I got her address and stuff. You wanna check it out?

I've never met anyone who's as beautiful and as kind and lovely as you.

Hot Chocolate, Extra Marshmallows.

So you want to play.

Shut the fuck up, kid. Your daddy's the boss. You go home.

Look at this asshole just watching.

You look sharp. Look at all them buttons. Do your job. Open the fucking door.

Hey, don't do this! You don't need to do this!

You're the kindest daddy in the whole world.

- Fuck. - No. No, no, no.

He must have taken that right before he died.

What kind of children's enter-fucking-tainer is that?

All I knew was my dad was gonna kill me.

Excellent, good.

Chris, you got to look at this from my point of view. Okay?

I didn't have a piercing or an eating disorder

Yeah! I'm gonna get a hot fudge sundae.

Go on. Yeah, I think it did.

"I'm Just Fucking With You, Daddy."

In the 18 months since my mother died,

And if you're reassuring yourself

However you lived before,

And three assholes

Except that wasn't true.

They make the best white chocolate mocha latte.

Yeah, a cuddly, fluffy one.

Chris is Red Mist?

Why can't I have a gun? I'm a security guard.

Whoa! Whoa! Boss, what are you doing?

The AR-15 was a lighter, smaller caliber version of what design?

I wasn't a mathlete or a hardcore gamer.

- and you don't deliver, that's when. - Give me a break. It's been a week.

No, no, no! It's me, it's me!

It's a little kid. What's the matter with you?

Do you think they got them?

- 700 miles an hour. - 700 miles an hour.

Hey, come on. Hey, I know some very bad people uptown,

You better fire this asshole.

I said, who really sold you our coke?

Come on then, bring it on!

has decided to take crime-fighting to a new level,

- Check this out. ...dressed as Kick-Ass.

My condolences, Frank.

I said, what the fuck are you looking at?

I was back and running Kick-Ass version 2.0.

I don't fucking believe this.

or an apology for the black eye he'd given her.