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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Hot Chocolate, Extra Marshmallows.
All I knew was my dad was gonna kill me.
You look sharp. Look at all them buttons. Do your job. Open the fucking door.
I rerouted your IP address. Finding you was way too easy.
Hey, don't do this! You don't need to do this!
So you want to play.
- Dave. - Yes?
And three assholes
I said, who really sold you our coke?
What do we do?
- Don't kill him till I get there. - Right.
Whoa! Whoa! Boss, what are you doing?
Yeah! I'm gonna get a hot fudge sundae.
And if you're reassuring yourself
- Check this out. ...dressed as Kick-Ass.
Yeah, a cuddly, fluffy one.
Fuck off
Go on. Yeah, I think it did.
- and you don't deliver, that's when. - Give me a break. It's been a week.
It's a little kid. What's the matter with you?
They make the best white chocolate mocha latte.
The kerosene.
I...
Fuck me
Why can't I have a gun? I'm a security guard.
- 700 miles an hour. - 700 miles an hour.
or an apology for the black eye he'd given her.
Hey! God! No, please, please!
Shit.
I said, what the fuck are you looking at?
However you lived before,
He must have taken that right before he died.
Hello?
He must be someone's son, someone's brother,
The AR-15 was a lighter, smaller caliber version of what design?
I was back and running Kick-Ass version 2.0.
No, no, no! It's me, it's me!
Shut the fuck up, kid. Your daddy's the boss. You go home.
Okay, maybe I was still in the beta-testing phase,
My condolences, Frank.
- Okay. - We had a deal, Dad.
I love you.
Do you think they got them?
No!
Guardian of the universe.
- Fuck. - No. No, no, no.
You better fire this asshole.
Shit.
I didn't have a piercing or an eating disorder
it's only a matter of time before Gigante is looking for you.
"I'm Just Fucking With You, Daddy."
That's okay.
Dave Shouldn't You Be Looking At Hamlet Right Now?"
What?
I don't fucking believe this.
I always wanted to say this.
Excellent, good.
I got her address and stuff. You wanna check it out?
You're the kindest daddy in the whole world.
- Is that yours? - Meet the Mist Mobile.
Chris is Red Mist?
Chris, you got to look at this from my point of view. Okay?
Come on then, bring it on!
has decided to take crime-fighting to a new level,
What kind of children's enter-fucking-tainer is that?
who calls himself Kick-Ass is about to be shown live.
Oh, child.
Look at this asshole just watching.
Hey, come on. Hey, I know some very bad people uptown,
In the 18 months since my mother died,
Yeah?
Except that wasn't true.
I've never met anyone who's as beautiful and as kind and lovely as you.
I wasn't a mathlete or a hardcore gamer.