Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

any of you bitches sitting around on your asses, all right?

A mailman by day...

But lucky for you, I picked it up.

- So what's the problem? - Our Russian says that Tre just sold him

- Get inside. Shut up! - Okay, no, he lied!

I appreciate your concern. But you need to go now.

I'm not messing with you, dude. They found out where I lived.

and killed my men, Gigante.

Now can you remember the number?

- Sorry you had to wait, buddy. - The movie is starting in 10 minutes.

the doctors had managed to fix me up pretty good.

I should have quit, of course, but you can't just reprogram yourself.

We're busting our asses here.

- Is it gonna hurt bad? - Oh, child.

You okay, sweetheart?

Did you spray anything over there?

britney aniston and jennifer spears and selena efron and zac gomez and jessica garner and jennifer alba and jinnifer lawrence and jennifer goodwin. sofia bleu and corbin vergara and claire southam and gillian daines and poppy lettinmeier and thomas delevigne and april shark and amy ryan.

and Kick-Ass really proved that one individual can make a difference.

Wednesdays, she's got one of those volunteer things.

- Dude, you gotta check this shit out. - What is it?

- someone's next-door neighbor. - Holy shit.

Just walk away from the car and we can forget about this.

I think you must be confusing me with someone

And all the things I'd never do, like learn to drive,

was arrested in Queens today

Come on, Mindy, honey.

It turns out those dead guys from the warehouse

Yeah, fuck Tony. He's a scumbag.

- I can get up. - No, no...

Yeah. Shouldn't we call the fire...

Yes, Mrs. Zane.

Don't you think, Dave?

When you can't afford to pay child support anymore and you got weekend custody

Man, that looks even cooler than it did in the picture.

I got why people didn't risk their lives for strangers.

Good move, Ass-Kick... ...Let's keep it that way.

I never said "Batman."

Hey, look, the guys tell me he's Tre Fernandez. What do I know?

But Kick-Ass told me we're not the only superheroes in town.

Not until D'Amico and his whole damn operation

I don't know if I was everything Katie had always dreamed her gay BFF would be,

Think about it. Come on, it'd be awesome.

I was just a stupid dick in a wetsuit.

really nasty individuals. Let me go. Hey, come on!

"I will avenge you, Mother!"

Thank you, Cody. We appreciate your co-operation.

All I knew was I'd never felt so good about myself.

- Mom? ...as opposed to a gunman in the alley.

Shit. Shit, I hadn't thought...

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.

Shit. Come on, come on, get in.

I meant like pajamas and clothes and stuff. You can't take that stuff to my house.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, let's go. We gotta go.

I'm here to see Rasul.

Is that what I think it is?

- Have a good day. Bye. - Bye.

Wait, wait, wait. Slow down. Kick-Ass?

- It's what it's for. - All right, let's go.

- Let him go. - Get out of here. Get the fuck out of here.

- Oh, God, I'm so sorry, man. - You fucking green...

Listen, cops pay me to nail the bad guys, you pay me not to.

It's in the shape of a giant cock.

and all I'm asking is you let Kick-Ass go. He didn't do anything wrong.

Why don't you pick on someone your own size?

- You're not making sense. - What I'm saying is the centrifugal force

So bring it on!

You wanna get a dog?

You go get dressed. I'll tell him to meet us at Safe House B.

Which Tre? Tre Tre?

was making deposits in the whack-off warehouse for later.

I'd e-mail his site if I had a problem worth fixing.

- There you go. - All right.

All right. You know what? Come here.

I gotta do a Kick-Ass thing.

That's not superhero, though. How is that super?

I gotta send a public service message to the people out there

you'd hire some putz in pantyhose?

I mean, is everyday life really so exciting?

That is one weird-sounding bazooka.

- Good morning. - Chris.

Why are they fighting? That seems stupid.

But it seems that far from being put off, this individual, who calls himself Red Mist,

And don't leave a mess.

Hit Girl, manners, honey.

Yeah. This looks very painful.

So, how are things going with Katie?

That's 'cause I used low velocity rounds, child.

Good move, Ass-Kick. Let's keep it that way.