Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

it could be one of the most widely-viewed live events in web history.

That you're a greedy little cocksucker or all my coke was stolen by Superman?

I mean, that's not homophobic, is it?

- Yeah, that's fine. - Get him a Pepsi, and I'll have an Icee.

Okay. You gotta stay away from Katie now. It's over.

Show's over, motherfuckers.

You saw him bringing out like a ton of stuff.

Welcome to this special edition of Eye on New York.

One of us is still a cop, remember?

What's with the high-fives?

Well, there's this one guy Rasul, and I felt so sorry for him.

I'm right here now, baby. What's up?

Is this Frank D'Amico's place?

A superhero never reveals his true identity.

What the fuck are you looking at?

Kick-Ass, I'm sorry!

- Dave? What the fuck are you doing? - I'm sorry.

are burnt to ashes and buried.

- Yeah, but that's not fair! - Yeah, life's not fair, kid. Get over it.

That should be really difficult for you. Are you okay?

I'm not going in.

Yeah, man! You and me together, we would own!

Here, kitty. Here, Mr. Bitey.

And that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

I lied to you, I know.

and a slightly elevated capacity to take a kicking.

- Tony! - Tony.

Johann Gambolputty

It was time to engage.

eventually, fantasizing just doesn't do it for you anymore.

Who the hell is this guy?

- Did you hear that? - Holy shit.

after a 911 call from someone claiming to be a superhero...

Who the fuck are you?

All right, come on. Go ahead.

I had something worth living for,

It ain't gonna bring her back, Damon.

see what's really going on.

but you don't pronounce it. Like in the word "Knuckleduster."

Can he hear you? I don't think he can hear you.

I need these things.

Don't take it personal, though. We don't trust anybody.

I’m just fucking with you

Holy fuck, Fashion, everybody's dead.

so I promised her my Kick-Ass days were over.

I'm going to convert you to a comics reader right now.

or see what me and Katie's kids would look like

Kill my men, huh?

Mindy Macready.

High-fiving bullshit. Keep going, keep going.

You're a pussy.

You're out of luck.

You know it ain't Halloween for another few months, kid?

Is he the kind of guy you'd go for, with all that leather?

and I ain't gonna disappoint him.

- You wanna go talk to him? I can move. - Dave... Dave should go.

According to him, you sold him my coke and you took the money.

you know, we didn't get beat up and have all our clothes taken off.

Yo, kid, who the hell are you? And what is this?

Suddenly, I understood why superheroes only existed in comic books.

I want your hands all over me, Dave.

We're gonna show you what they can do. Go ahead, boys.

Now in France, they say the word "stick" like this, bâton.

Do you feel like checking out that new Kate Hudson movie

Can I get a puppy?

- Stop with the fork. - I apologize.

- Are you sure? - You gotta help me, Vic.

What kind of kid has a... A Spider-Man party, sure, but a fucking Kick-Ass party?

where she's like a shoe designer, can't get a guy?

If they didn't, he will.

Mysterious traveler from another dimension.