Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- What's that? - A cinnamon stick, sir.

Oh, where the fuck is my fucking coat?

- Just give me one sec. - Yeah.

I can't break this spell

'This must be very exciting for you, fighting for the Christmas number one.

(Portuguese) I will miss you.

I feel it in my fingers I feel it in my toes

And a letter box

Which is what? Turkish?

You will know the difference when...

You're not actually going ahead with this stupid plan?

I hate Uncle jamie

'We're live across the nation and you're number one.

But I will be very sorry

- Yeah. - Uh-huh. Good, good.

All I want for Christmas

It's all for you, sir

'Let's hope it's the latter. Here it is. Number one, from Billy Mack,

No way. Anyway, they fly tonight.

Hold tight, everybody.

(Chattering excitedly)

I'll see you later, all right?

- 'Do you trust me? ' - 'I trust you.'

I'm rambling now, sorry.

I thought if I was in the band and played superbly,

She's got me but I'm not free so...

And you're all I see

Come on, Mikey, you know as well as I do the record's crap.

No, l-I just thought I'd ask bluntly in case it was the right question

My cabinet are absolute crap. We hope to do better next year.

three days and, I suppose, what, two hours?

Those young popsters come Christmas will be stretched out naked

Like the desert

There's just one thing I need

You're so excited I can feel you getting hotter

And may all of your Christmases come true

- I'm always... - (Juliet) 'Mark? '

Am I sad or not sad? I think you’re not surprised.

20 years ago, you'd have been his type.

(Natalie) 'Dear sir, Dear David,

And still somehow

- It's the Chancellor on the other line. - It isn't!

with a chubby employee. (Snorts)

Like a light bulb

Sell? Who said sell? I'll pay him.

Or I could give you 5% of the profits.

When she first mentioned what's about to happen,

why don't you come back and sleep at our place?

- Er, bonjour, Aurelia. - Bonjour.

It's Christmas.

then casually mention you'd like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies.

I had a real search when you first called and couldn't find it so...

- The final flourish. - Can I pay?

Have you gone completely insane?

Did you see those pipes?

oh god, she's in and now she'll think i'm a total spaz if i don't go in, too

Do you have a favorite lettuce? Do you want some....water?

Me After SigniNg Up For How to get rich in 10 days

switch off your phone and tell me exactly how long it is that you've been working here.

No! Absolutely not. We didn't and do not consult on that either

I hate Vladimir Putin

redistribute her?

Yes, I have, Ant or Dec.

Me the beginning of the episode

That's where you're wrong.

You're the one girl in town I'd marry

Yep, solid gold shit maestro!

Erm, it was, erm...

But I've never seen him before.

...this one. - I have bought the traditional scarf as well

for her hands in marriage.

Just never been able to tie a girl down.

- Did I mention that I love you? - Yes, you did. Get out, loser.

God only knows what I'd be without you

you never talk to me.

And even if she did, she'd despise me.

Make your heart believe a lie

Cool. Powerful.

I know. I'll name one of the characters after you.

Where do the Ionely hearts go...

just always given him the boring biscuits with no chocolate.

(Russian) Is this the way to the train station?

(Portuguese) What kind of book is it?

(Bernie) Mine first. Mine.

They've declared their marriage by the giving of rings.

You've made the April I lead Foolish, too

The problem is his mum always used to talk to him, you know, and...

- Jeannie. - He's from England.

Certainly. Excellent. Will do.

Or give me 50% of the profits.

I Know My Heart I Know My Heart Can Make You Happy

to get the Pope on the phone tonight but...

on my friend Mike's show in a few minutes' time.

Just one dance?

And particularly enjoy the incredible crassness

No, absolutely not! We did not and do not consult on that either!

Said love wasn't worth the pain

Yes. Pathetic, isn't it?

- Well, you know... - We always tell your secretary

(Darlene Love: All Alone On Christmas)

Oh, Jesus, not that crap again!

She's not here - she's at work. I'll take you.

No. I'll just be hanging around the mistletoe, hoping to be kissed.

Father is about to sell Aurelia as a slave to this Englishman.

Are you gonna dip it in yogurt? Cover it with chocolate buttons?

you can just write on it.

or if, worst of all, it's a necklace and love?

Ooh, would we call her chubby?

I've looked at love

'AII right, open your eyes.'

Come on... Let's get pissed and watch porn

Where no one's ever gone before

- Fool! - Get off, you big bully.

I'd get a girlfriend there instantly. What do you think?

Well, this is a surprise.

Wandsworth. The dodgy end.

Either that or gay as a picnic basket.

ever so coolly,

I am here to ask your daughter