Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Actually they’re not funny They’re art

Excellent. Excellent. Perfect, keep that going.

(Sound turned down)

Good King Wenceslas looked out

I'll make you so sure about it...

Normally, I'm really shy, takes me ages to get the courage up, so thank you.

(From DJ booth) Bye bye baby, baby goodbye

(Portuguese) Maybe you could name one of the characters after me.

Merry, so merry...

the great Mrs Jean Anderson.

Just be patient.

Meat Loaf definitely got laid at least once.

Visions of sugarplums have disappeared...

Worse than the total agony of being in love?

I hate Uncle Jamie!

And what does she, he, feel about you?

What did I do? I made a papier-mâché lobster head.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, that is dodgy. - Hm.

'I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow airport.

Good morning. I had an uncle called Terence.

Alex reminds me of.....

Hi, guys. Hey, hey, hey. You all right?

I may not always love you

Po Po Po Po Power with Bearglove

I thought it was time I did.

thought it'd be something worse.

Shut up, Miss Dunkin' Donut 2003.

Imagine your husband bought a gold necklace

Well, we need Kate

Just any bar. Just your average American bar.

22 is alot of men, Daniel

so do you believe that by 2037 we will turn the new on gillard? yes i believe it, and by 2099 expect more taxes to bonk.

Oh, fine. Nice to meet you, Jack.

Try my lovely nuts?

or, when I hang up,

- Nein! - Ja, darling!

- Got to go. - Bye.

I'll have a look but I'm pretty sure I wiped it, so don't get any hopes up.

'but I'm hoping for a late surge.

Yes, she's American.

NOT REALLY! ABSOLUTELY NOT! WE CANNOT AND DO NOT CONSULT ON THAT EITHER!

Yeah, sure, sure.

Er, either I could behave like a real rock'n'roll loser

- Wives and family and stuff? - Yeah. I mean, not children.

I know my heart I know my heart can make you happy

Well, if it's not too much of an inconvenience.

(Girls) "Straw."

and we need Leo, and we need them now.

but you turn out to be the fucking love of my life.

Chappel Roan is the Midwest lesbian who taught your cold english wife how to feel.

So deep I can't sleep, I can't...

Just maybe go and see something Christmassy or something.

Let's, erm... move on, shall we?

Nobody ought to be alone on Christmas Don't leave me alone

none one is going to pick you if you don't cheer up

It is chock-a-block full of puzzles It is chock-a-block full of puzzles

No. I realised that Christmas is the time to be with the people you love.

No. I've done fuck-all and never will because he's too good for me.

- Hi, Sarah. - Hi, Karl.

Hmmm. No, Absolutely Not! We do not and didn't consult on that either

And they called it...

It can tear you up inside Ooh

We've never got friendly.

(Wedding March becomes La Marseillaise)

Who do you have to screw round here to get a cup of tea and a biscuit?

Absolutely not! We didn't And do not consult on that either

It seems no matter what I do

For God's sake, Ringo Starr married a Bond girl.

THE SAME. OH. IT'S THE SAME.

- Ah, my sister lives in Wandsworth. - Oh.

or maybe Munchies?

Everyday at DCAA!

A friend who bullies us is no longer a friend

- (Knocking) - Yeah.

So, what's the problem, Samuel?

- Lovely, yes. - Thank you.

It's a personalised felt-tip pen.

Who do you have to screw around here To get a cuppa tea and a chocolate biscuit

Oh, you were wonderful.

Make my wish come true

And then when he sometimes does come out, it's obvious he's been crying.

- Before we run out of chances. - Who, me?

- (Sighing) OK, fine. - Thanks and, er, be nice.

Er, bugger off, call me later.

(Female DJ) 'It's almost enough to make you feel patriotic,

(Juliet) I am so happy to see you!

He now spends all the time in his room. I mean, he'll be up there now.

Yeah, you're still sickeningly handsome, whereas I look like my Aunt Mildred.

All alone on Christmas Nobody ought to be alone on Christmas

Well, now, that was an interesting day.

Ah, right. Well, er...

- But you wanted it giftwrapped. - I did but...

Of course, if you want me to come over I will. Mm-hm.

You sure you don't mind me going without you?

(Yes, I'm lying)

No, absolutely not! We didn't and do not consult on that either

"Come on and let it snow." Ouch.

"BITS AND BOBS"

I don't want a lot for Christmas

Not that Josh Groban crap again!

And I can't breathe

So, let's go. We can definitely crack this.

Unfortunately, she cannot speak French, just like you.

(Eva Cassidy: Songbird)

- Harry? - Sarah,

And your very loud typing

I'm actually yours, with love. Your Robert Mueller

- (Music stops) - Yeah, erm,

Tell me I've got to know

It's great Scotch.

I love you even when you're sick and look disgusting.

And if you want more

Well, erm, where do you live, for instance?

It tears my heart in two

God only knows what I'd be without you

(Man) 'Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world,

I think I've got it all figured out

There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?

Don’t buy Noel Gallagher concert tickets Live near Wythenshawe Park and hear the entire concert for free

(Daisy) What is it?

OK. Terry, I won't be long.

I can safely say that is the worst record I've heard this century...