Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

...the average child asks for 15 gifts per letter.

Santa's not bringing y'all families. Santa Claus is a clown.

And another 20. Let me see what you got.

...the board is seriously considering...

Feel it. Stay with it.

- Tomorrow? - Yeah.

What's it? Tomorrow is tomorrow's date. What's it? Tomorrow is tomorrow's date.

...he didn't need those darn glasses anymore, did he?

I couldn't control being brother of the president of the United States.

There's more Santa statues in the world than Buddha. It's a shell game.

Uh, shave a few reindeer, sprinkle the doodads on the cookies...

What, we don't know what happens, what--?

...of naughty children.

...and turn it into a problem.

But I didn't give you a Superman cape, did I?

...but I ran into your parents, and they invited me to dinner.

- Give me a little something. - Yes, I will.

Oh, and one more thing, make sure you eat all the cookies.

...that I was gonna do whatever it took...

That's it. Okay, now, the next thing you do is put your hand on my back.

So you asked me for something.

You betcha. Fred, you just stay right there. Don't you move an inch.

You're gonna have to pay something...

Now, good night.

Or whether they've been marked Naughty or Nice.

Of course. He's crying out for help.

Oh, and do you think that after a while of being called Four-Eyed Clyde...

He's getting paid. He's got a whole thing happening.

If you want salvation, no army can give it to you, only people can.

Something like a family member's health or the end of war or famine.

Oh, come off it, Willie. Everyone knows this story.

The little tiny people.

What is it, Fred? Is it--? It's me, isn't it?

...so that way I gave you $10,000, you gave me $5000.

This may be the best ticket I ever got.

Oh. He wanted you to have this too.

...you'll wake up, you're 35, crying about your life in front of the soaps.

...Bonsai Palace.

Let's get our blood pumping. Let's make some bad decisions with each other.

Anna-Marie Gormley.

It's not like I didn't want my brother to succeed.

- Then she's a dater. - You push and fix on one thing.

- Great. So this is it? - Yeah, right.

It's okay. Friendly, friendly, friendly. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

This tree's gonna chop that big tree down.

Of course, sometimes kids are both naughty and nice.

...and for the love of my family name...

I'm proud of you, Willie.

Head 12 degrees north into London.

Snap the reins! We need more speed at this altitude!

You got a cop right there.

If you wanna bring the hammer down upon his little DJ hands...

Yo, brother Fred, can I get a "Ho, ho"?

I think we're making some real progress.

- I'm easy to find. - Big talk.

Oh, ho, ho, okay.

...the busiest in the whole world.

That Naughty-Nice List that you got?

You'll still be able to save Christmas. We don't have a lot of time.

I remember that. Try fitting that down the chimney, huh?

Bays. Boys, easy.

But Fred's promise is just the beginning of his story.

Oh, where, oh, where did all the kids' letters go?

- That? - Oh, no.

Africa plus Asia, plus Europe, North America, South America.

You gotta pay it within 30 days, you know that?

Step up for everyone's favorite charity, People Help the People.

Catch it, catch it, catch it one time.

Have a nice night.

I'm gonna tell you about the surprise. It's not a surprise.

- When Blitzen learned to fly? - He fell on his face.

- Stephen, by the way. - Hi, Stephen.

Your erratic behavior is putting too much stress on your brother.

...like, you know, you're looking out for someone else.

- Cut him off! - He's an impostor!

And I just don't know if I'm ever, you know, gonna be able to fully recover now.